Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Canada Day 2003


We are beginning our celebration of Canada Day as any 136th birthday should start - with BBQ'd Steak for Breakfast! Yay Canada! It's days like this that I wonder just what it means to me to be a Canadian... lots of different things come to mind that are distinctly Canadian... beer, peacekeeping, snow, ice, hockey... ME (I was made in Canada!) but in honour of Canada Day 2003 I would like to share with you a variety of snippets that will help to illustrate Canada... read/click... watch and enjoy!

The Molson's Canadian BEAVER Commercial - I love this! For so many reasons.

American: "Mr. Canadian! Mr. Canuck! HAHAHAHA Where's your pet beaver then, EH?"
Canadian: *pulls a beaver onto the bar* "Right here."
American: *dumbstruck look*
Canadian: "Attack."

The Molson's Canadian "I AM" Rant - inspired by the frustrations felt by Canadians as we endeavour to define ourselves as separate from, and out from under the definition of, the Americans...

"... Canada is the second largest landmass! The first nation of hockey!... and the best part of North America!"

And HOCKEY, ofcourse - no mention of what it means to be Canadian can avoid even a cursory glance at Hockey and how it prevades our lives (it is freezing cold here most of the year, which miraculousy corresponds with the hockey season!). In 2002, to our pride and joy, our Men's AND Women's Hockey teams took Gold at the Olympics... Medals that were celebrated nationwide with much adieu. But when I think of great Hockey moments, I think of Paul Henderson's 1972 (the year I was born) goal that brought all Canadians together in a unified group - TV's were even brought into school classrooms so everyone could watch Team Canada in the 1972 series.
With mere seconds left in the last game of the series, with all of Canada standing still (no doubt holding their breath), Henderson scored what is perhaps the most famous goal in Hockey history - watch it here!

And, now for a teeny bit of humour (as Canadians have the best sense of humour in the world): These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. The countries of origin are indicated in brackets after the question.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it is true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. . . oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
A: You are an American politician, right?

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

It's fair to say that I am proud to be a Canadian! Its the best country in the world... and the most beautiful (and friendly) and although I periodically consider going to work in the EU for a limited period of time, I know this place will always call me back as my one true home. Happy Birthday Canada!

This is MY Country! "I look out and I see a land, Young and lovely hard and strong, For 50,000 years we've danced her praises, Prayed our thanks and we've just begun... Yes, yes, This is my country!

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