My Baby Boy Turns 17

Happy Birthday Wesley!

Wesley has always been very active, even in the womb. He used to kick, turn somersaults and every once in a while jam his feet into my pelvis and stretch up as far as his little body could go... as he got bigger this became harder for him and some time in the last month of pregnancy, unbeknown to us, all of his antics got him stuck. On my bladder to be exact, with his umbilical cord wrapped around his shoulders.

Being trapped made him "late" and I was induced 10 days after my due date. The medication worked wonders and within six hours I was beginning transition labour which I am told is the final, shortest and most rewarding stage of childbirth. However 12 hours later I was still in transition - fully dilated but the baby hadn't moved. Then his heart rate started dropping and it became apparent that something was really wrong. I was pretty out of it by this time but I do remember the flurry of activity as the town hospital tried to prepare a surgical team at 1:30am and by the time I was wheeled into the Operating Room his heart beat was not above 16 beats per minute. I felt like I was observing everything from a detached, safe distance. Until that moment I hadn't even considered not coming home with a baby.

My GP was there with me, standing beside me stroking my forehead, while the OB started the C-Section. Then words I never dreamed I would hear came out of my OB's mouth - "Oh MY GOD look at this bladder!" Apparently as he made the incision my bladder finally succumbed to all the pressure and was ejected out of my body. I recall my GP soothing me with "Don't worry about it, we'll talk about it later." It wasn't too long before they had pulled Wesley out - but instead of any kind of crying there was just my GP with new words to combat my immediate panic "Just let us do our jobs right now" and they whisked him away. My baby was blue, he wasn't breathing or moving. I wasn't breathing either.

They suctioned him, he finally breathed and colour returned to him and to my world. As he cried for the first time I felt a joy that leapt up inside of me and chased all the demons away. He was alive, I was alive, we had clearly both been given a second chance. It wasn't all easy right away, things like incubators and heart monitors dominated for a while but in the end I got to take my baby boy home to flourish.

On his birthday I can't help but think about the story of his entrance into the world with retroactive awe at the role that fate plays in our lives. Things can change so quickly, certain decisions have outcomes you wouldn't have predicted and nothing is ever as simple as it first seems. I also marvel at the power and will of life itself - given the right chance life will always find a way.

17 years later I can't even begin to explain how happy I am that I am wishing him a happy birthday. Happy birthday Wesley!

Be All You Can Be

Wesley had some free time for the first time in a week yesterday and he was able to call home. He's doing well, enjoying the challenges and the camaraderie and didn't even complain too much about the extreme heat that Wainwright seems to get in the days. He describes training with technology that I've never seen and I am excited for him (and maybe even a tiny bit jealous).

It was really great to hear his voice. It was a chance to connect with him telling me his stories and me describing what has happened here in his absence. But what really struck me was his voice - and how it had changed. He sounds like a man. He is a man and I'm proud of him!

He's Ready to Go...

Hurry up and wait...

Because his Basic Military Training finished in June, Wesley didn't get course loaded for his Basic Infantry Training, which technically starts tomorrow. Wes is second on the priority waiting list, which means if two people didn't show up for their training today then tomorrow he will get a call to go.

All his bags are packed, he has purchased all the supplies he'll need for the month of July and he has cash for a taxi in case I cannot drive him. It's weird to go to sleep tonight knowing that tomorrow he might be rushing off at a moment's notice and would be gone for the entire month. That will be the longest he has ever been away from home.

I think I am having pre-empty nest anxiety... he is going to be 17 this month and really is quite grown up (I am so proud of him and the man he is becoming). Next year he will be choosing universities and going off to start his life all on his own. It almost seems too soon to me, time has gone by so fast. It's a great thing, growing up and I am so happy for him. I have to find a way to let go as much as he needs me to. I wonder how other parents deal with it?

Sweet Sixteen

My Birthday Boy

Wesley has had a great year - I am so proud of him! I wish him many many more years of happiness and great success!

That Time of Year Again

Another school year finished! Let the summer vacation begin - and by that I mean could we please have some warm/hot weather, green grass and flowers? I don't know what's up with our seasons this year but winter was too long, spring too late and now we have no rain for anything to grow!

But enough about the weather and more about my Honours students. They both worked really hard this year and I am proud of them! Congrats you two!

Wesley completed Grade Ten with Honours

Raven completed Grade Eight with Honours

Mommy, Santa Came!!!

I woke everyone up this Christmas morning

When my kids were tiny the best part of Christmas morning was being woken up by their excited declarations of "Mommy! Santa came! Santa came! Mommy ... WAKE UP!" I would drag myself out of bed, watch them go downstairs and see their faces light up when they saw the presents under the tree. If I was lucky there would be just enough time to get some coffee while they unwrapped items found in their stockings. I'm so not a morning person.

Christmas morning activity naturally evolves as children age, but the biggest change to my Christmas morning came seven years ago when Duncan joined our family. You see, Duncan does not usually sleep on Christmas Eve, being excited enough for all the children in the Northern Hemisphere. Our very first Christmas together he awoke at 4:30am and begged to wake the kids up - I resisted of course, but my resistance only bought me a couple of hours more. Fast forward to last year, where Duncan didn't really sleep at all, seems to me like he asked me every 10 minutes if we could get up... I don't know how I survived the next day! I usually employ some sort of blackmail/bribery to try to ensure my long winter's nap but it usually falls on deaf ears.

So this year I made it clear to everyone that we were going to sleep... at least until some time after a six registered on the clock. After making all the usual Christmas Eve preparations I went to bed quite late and I was looking forward to my four hours of sleep.

This morning I woke up with a painfully advanced cramp in my leg muscle - I tried desperately to hop around the bedroom quietly (I had every intention of going back to bed) but to no avail, I awoke Duncan (who had no interest, since it was 6:05am, in going back to sleep). My muffled cries of twisting agony also woke up Wesley who wasted no time in waking up his sister.

And so, ironically, did Christmas morning begin in our home this year.

15 Years Ago Today I Was 21

... and giving birth to my firstborn child - a lovely, happy bouncing baby boy weighing in at 7lbs 10.5 ounces. He was 21.5 inches long and fit in the crook of my arm. A lot changes in 15 years!

Like I think I am shrinking!

Happy birthday Wesley! I know you'll rock your 15th year in style!

School's Out for Summer!

With a sigh of relief we bid goodbye to another school year that has come and gone! Here's what the end of school looked like this year for us:


Wesley Graduated Grade 9! Look how grown up he looks, like a proper young man. Since this year he got his drivers license, held two jobs and grew more than 5 inches (to surpass us all) I guess he really is a young man!


Wesley received his Diploma for finishing his IB Middle Year Baccalaureate Program, which included an extra personal project on top of his regular school work load. Now on to High School IB!


One of Ravens Arts this past year was Dance, which means she danced as part of the school's year end Dance Collective. The picture is not great, sadly, but with her moving so fast (she's the blurry one in purple in the back) in low light (with flash photography restricted) it was the best shot I got.


Raven finished Grade 7 this year with an Honours Standing. I'm bragging here, but Raven has won this award every year since grade 3.

Congrats to both my kids on another successful scholastic year! I am really looking forward to spending some time with them this summer and I hope we all have an amazing break before school starts again.

I'm the World's Best Mom

My Mother's Day 2008 Minnie Mouse

When I was a little girl I dreamed of doing all sorts of things - being an astronaut, a horse jockey, a jet fighter pilot, a hockey player and traveling the world - but what I wanted more than anything else was to be a Mom. Jobs and careers have always seemed to be trivial things in comparison, things that helped meet the financial requirements of the kind of life I wanted. I was fairly young, but the moment I knew I was pregnant my life changed and I knew without a doubt that I was doing exactly what I wanted to do, what I was meant to do.

Mostly everything I have done in my life since has revolved around the best interests of my family (I am Mom to the World's two best kids), with the exception of some selfishness along the way and together we have created a life that is the meaningful fulfillment of my childhood dream. I know my purpose in life and I love being a Mom! Thank you to my kids for being both wonderful and understanding - they know me well and still put up with me!

Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Happy Bloomsday!

Bloomsday 2008 Finish Line

My daughter ran the 12km Bloomsday Race in Spokane Washington today - 1hr and 21 mins! Her overall place was 10,401 out of 42,697 people, running at a pace of 10:55 per mile (avg pace for 12 yr olds was 15:44). I am tremendously proud of her and can't wait to congratulate her in person when she gets home.

Watching the race starts on TV this morning was very exciting but nothing can top her call after the race to tell me that she had finished! She's even excited and ready to go for next year! Go Raven!

The Birth Place of Speed

Standing in the Atlantic Ocean

Daytona Beach, Florida. Although Daytona is way more than a beach, that's what lured us there... the promise of 23 miles of white sandy beach, surf, sun and the Atlantic Ocean, something I'd never seen before. We noted with interest certain landmarks as we drove by, like the the world-famous Daytona International Speedway, but visions of white sandy beaches kept us going until we were finally parked on the beach itself.

The entire beach is her canvas

While I was still taking in the sights, sounds and smells of an Ocean I had never seen before Raven was already digging furiously in the sand. Wesley walked as far into the surf as his clothes would allow and Duncan and I strolled the beach, taking pictures and beach combing.

Ocean breeze in his hair

Duncan still has his playoff beard here... the day we went to Daytona Beach was actually the day the Flames played Game Seven of their series against the Sharks. Needless to say we were sad when he had to shave it off the next morning. It was a good series though!

Things that make me happy

My Thing 1 and Thing 2 had a blast playing on the beach. I am so glad that we had this opportunity to visit the beach as it offered us a lovely time out from the hustle and bustle of our vacation (Walt Disney World is a lot of fun but it is busy every second of the day!).

Our Future Family

We've been talking a lot about having a baby and exploring what that would mean for us and our family... but when I saw Raven's family portrait in the sand I realized just how much we all had already made a space in our lives for our future family member to join us.

Wishing Upon a Star...

Like Dreamers do...

This one is for my Son

I've spent my fair share of hanging with Master Chief... but nothing quite like this!

Cultural Anthropology in Real Time

I am moved by how much this message speaks to who I have become and my (obviously not so unique) worries about it - and the impact of this is greater even for my children. The world we are thinking in today - the world we are thinking up - is not the same as the world we thought we would be growing up in.

See more discussion here and here.

Blog Catch Up - Would you like Fries with that?

Yes indeed, it is time for another installment of "Blog Catch Up." A lot has happened since the summer and I haven't had much of an opportunity to sit down and blog about it. So, without further ado, here goes.

The Columbia Icefields

Due to the fact that I contracted E-Coli this summer we had to cancel our family trip to Ottawa, which I felt very guilty about since it also meant we missed Elaine's wedding. When I felt better we went to Jasper for four days, during which time we explored many lakes, crevices and mountains - it was gorgeous. We also went to see the Columbia Icefields - the glaciers were very impressive - but receeding.

My sister Kate

For the first time in my life I met my sister Kate, who came out to visit from England. The experience of welcoming my sister to Canada, my home and even more so my family was life altering - but it felt completely normal and never uncomfortable.

Duncan meets Brian Mulroney

As part of Duncan's birthday celebrations this year I got tickets for lunch with Brian Mulroney, which included Mulroney's new book, which he signed. All in all the lunch was enjoyable - but that Duncan got to talk to Mr. Mulroney was the high point.

My sister's Ambulance

Life is sometimes full of surprises... Part way through my sister's trip to Canada she woke up (after having back pain for a couple of days and seeing a chiropractor) and couldn't feel her legs below her knees. That started a flurry of activity that involved two hospitals, a CT Scan and an MRI, emergency spinal surgery and the long road to recovery - she's back in England now but still can't walk. I would issue a strong warning here to everyone thinking of going to a Chiropractor - don't. The guy she saw said she had to come back 72 time to get fixed... but in reality what he did was push her disk into her spine - the Surgeon said another hour before surgery and she would have been paralyzed. For Life.

Raven's New Glasses

Raven turned 12, got accepted into the Junior High that she applied to (and she is loving it) and had to get glasses. The real story behind the glasses is how many places we had to go to find a pair she liked - these were eventually found at the university in HUB mall where they had many cool frames.

Duncan turns 29 years old

Duncan turned "almost 30" this year - and like a fine wine he is getting better with age! The way things worked out he had two birthday parties - the traditional one at Hooters and one at home on his actual birthday, so he got spoiled. (Here is the Pic everyone wants to see).

Happy Thanksgiving!

With my sisters surgery and recovery she missed her flight back to England - which meant they got to stay and share a Canadian Thanksgiving dinner with us, which was wonderful. I used our Dad's china and cooked a turkey with all he trimmings. Neither Kate nor Mel have ever had a Thanksgiving meal since, well, no pilgrims in London I guess. I was delighted to have them with us.

Congratulations Raven!

My Valedictorian

Raven graduated grade six, with Honours! Not only did she receive the commendation of the Academic Excellence Award she was also chosen as Class Valedictorian - something she managed to keep a secret from me until it was time for her to go up and make the speech (which she also wrote herself). Raven also earned an A in PE - something she has worked very hard for! We are very proud of her - Congratulations, Raven - way to blast away elementary school!

Parenting with Love... and Logic?

There are all these books out there about parenting with Love and Logic. I know this because I have read my fair share of them, and up until this exact point of time in my parenting career I would say that they have been helpful and welcome.

I believe that teens are perhaps the most endearing, challenging and important group of people in our society - our strongest critics, our future leaders and eventually, our caregivers. This belief, combined with the memory of my own teenhood challenges and the fact that I love my children, lead me to figure the parenting teenagers "stage" would be easy. Or at least, easier for me. Because I am just that good.

Boy, was I wrong. And it really has nothing to do with Logic...

"Raising teens is like trying to nail jello to a tree"
- some poor, unknown parent of a teenager

I really do try, but there are times I am still on the recieving end of "the look" again (if you're a parent of a teen I am sure you know this one - it's the "You're so Retarded" look). I can't wait to be smart and cool again! Can't they see how totally awesome I am?

Wesley is a Great Kid!

Great Kids Award 2005
Honourable Mention  

Congratulations Wesley on being one of only 188 Albertan children nominated for the prestigious Premier's Great Kids Award 2005! Congratulations on your award! With the amount of character and compassion you have shown your different communities this year, your earnest fundraising for those less fortunate, countless volunteer hours, your outstanding leadership successes, academic achievements and wonderful friendships you have maintained, even in the face of so many large personal loses this past year, it's no wonder your school thought you should be nominated for this recognition!

Can you tell I am a proud parent? I can't stop smiling!