The Writing on The Wall

In case of emergency, activate the bat signal.

In a surprise turn of events the liberals took Calgary Varsity. Our numbers were solid and no one, not even the media, the hacks or the pundits, saw it coming. All in all the liberals took 17 seats.

We lost 13.

A fourth term with a majority government that claims 3/4's of the seats is nothing to shake a stick at. It actually sounds like a success story any government would be proud of. But there is danger in complacency and this should not be considered a "victory", not for us.

The numbers tell a different story - an obvious right wing protest vote across the province. Albertans are not completely happy with us, loud and clear. In all ridings where a PC seat was lost, the right of center vote was split between us and the Alberta Alliance, by the same amount that would have been needed for a win over the liberal candidates. But it's not the liberals I am worried about.

Bat signal please.

This is a message from the voters of Alberta to our party and if we ignore it our party will die. As a party, we have our work cut out for us, with only 3-4 years to regain lost trust, confidence and support. The trick will be in balancing the needs of the voters with the needs of the party and our policy direction. How far right can we go in order to accommodate voters without losing more votes than we might possibly gain? And the Premier needs to clean house or go.

Finally Home...

Wow. Am I tired. And happy to be home. I have learnt so much, which I will be pleased to share at a later time.

Iam so drubk

There is nothing in politics until you get totally drunk with the outgoing candidate. It's funny how evrything becomes so clear.

un-blogging

"We are likely to be disconcerted by
... hiatuses of thought."
- Edmund Wilson

Hiatus (hi·a·tus): A gap or interruption in space, time, or continuity; a break; an interruption in the intensity or amount of something.

While I am campaigning I will not be blogging. In two years this is my very first official hiatus. I will miss you all and will make it up to you when I get back, after the Provincial Election, promise.

Emergency Door Knocking Duties

What happens when your Doorknocking Coordinator calls in sick? Your amazingly versatile and all talented live in Campaign Office Manager answers the call of duty.

Benefits of doorknocking (besides fresh air, good exercise, discussing issues)?

Having the door answered by a half dressed, half asleep, cute buxom and built young dark haired guy...

Now, back to being a Campaign Office Manager.

Busy Busy Girl

When you are running a Campaign Office there is no such thing as weekends. Or slowing down. Or vegging, relaxing, etc, etc. But it is all fun, excitement, moving and shaking, rolling with the punches, meeting expectations and raising the bar. No one would have it any other way.

We are good (understatement). We have an awesome campaign team, with eager, skilled volunteers. We have the best Campaign Manager in the city. My space is finally coming together. We have a great Candidate, and an even better Candidates wife and family. The mundane trials of yesterday are nothing to us now. And most importantly, beyond any shadow of doubt, I have the most wonderful and supportive, understanding, caring husband (of superlative quality) in the whole world. I couldn't be here doing this without him (Thanks Baby).

I want my Duncan

Tonight I feel just like a little kid must feel when someone smashes through his sandcastle that was built upon hours of creative work.

I need tomorrow to be another day.

Laugh it up Fuzzball

Q. What's the difference between the Vietnam War and the Iraq War?

A. George W. Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam War.

Taking it to the next level

My husband has a nice new fandangled laptop with access to our wireless home network. Here's the conversation I had with him this lovely morning over MSN.

Allie - Now in Calgary says: you are now online!

Duncan says: And on the toilet.

Allie - Now in Calgary says: lol! thats awesome

Duncan says: Yup.

Duncan says: I no longer fear constipation. I welcome it.

Allie - Now in Calgary says: hehehe

Demand better

I would rather die of thirst than drink from the cup of mediocrity.

Long Distance Parenting

I got this email from Raven today. I was impressed - thats a lot of typing for a nine year old!

Dear Mom,

At school today I:

-did S.Q.U.I.R.T. [silent reading]

-did L.A.

-Music

and so on. The book orders came in but Mrs.Loberg is handing them out tomorrow. At lunch I got a new spot because a girl took my spot but I get to sit by Nikki. I am having a good time but I miss you already! Tonight Duncan made pasta for dinner and it was good. How are you? What did you have for dinner?

I LOVE YOU!

Your Duaghter,

RAVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WESLEY WON!!!!

Congratulations on running and winning your first election Wes! I hope you enjoy being a councilor for Grade Six. I am very proud of you. I hope Duncan enjoys planning your victory party! The students made an awesome choice.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Shakespeare knew of the pain of separating from your dearly loved one and suggested that ache could be dulled by the anticipation of the next encounter. Longing, dreaming, wanting, seeking, loving - all taking the edge off of a sadness that exists when two soul mates are apart.

Today, god willing (winter hit, the roads are a mess), I leave for Calgary. I do not want to leave Duncan behind. I sleep terribly when our bodies are not intertwined together, the comforting beat of our hearts directing our sleep and dreams. I look so forward everyday to looking into his eyes, getting lost in those beautiful eyes, listening to the rhythm of his voice, feeling the touch of his hands, wrapping myself in his arms. Almost everything I do, we do together. He is my best friend. I will miss him terribly.

I watched my kids walk out the door this morning, my dear sweet ones, and I know I will miss them too. Miss seeing how their faces light up when they talk about their days and how we play little games at night when I tuck them in... miss watching them laugh and play and even doing their homework.

Ofcourse, we are going to call each other, email, msn, write and find other ways to connect. That's a huge priority. We will still find time to visit and see each other in the next 6 weeks, I just don't know if it will be as often as my heart desires.

Until we meet again, loved ones, take care. Know that I love you more than the depths and mysteries of life can explain.

Edmonton voters Elect New Mayor.

Out with the old, in with Stephen Mandel. Congrats Edmonton, we managed to shake up the Momentum afterall. Thank god.

Stephen Mandel 85887 votes (40.68%)
Bill Smith 68767 votes (32.57%)
Robert Noce 52640 votes (24.93%)

We had the weirdest ballots in Edmonton - we had to fill in the middle part of an arrow beside and pointing to the candidate of our choice... anyone else have weird ballots?

My friends are all amazing

I am having much fun. Good fun. Clean fun. Real fun (as in not drama fun).

Dan and Cathy bought a new Jeep today (TJ). Very nice. It was very exciting, not very practical, but life isn't about being practical all the time. Their house is beautiful, I am enjoying my stay here in Cochrane. Cathy's pregnant belly is gorgeous. I am enjoying getting to know my friend as a pregnant girl. And maybe she can pass all her maternity/baby stuff on to me!

Wow. Now that was a party!

I had an awesome time tonight. The food was fabulous, the punch was amazing (thanks to Reagan's powers of creation), the political talk and socialization was arousing, and the gifts given out were touching. The only thing that would have made it more perfect would have been if Duncan was there with me (miss you baby). I know he really regreted having to miss the party.

Going to a party

Here I am in Calgary, all alone (for the time being). My friend Cindy was soposed to be here - but alas I am sitting in an empty house. I am here for a special party tonight, and then hanging with friends for a couple of days before heading back home to pack for the campaign era that begins Tuesday. I am happily entertaining myself with my new book, The Logogryph, my friend Tom's latest creation. Life is so much more interesting when you have friends who are artists.

Love really is the key

I am an avid student of people and our humanity and how we chose to express and share it fascinates and inspires me. For a while I have been reading the blog of a woman who is trying to concieve her first child, but is travelling the journey that all couples faced with infertility must travel. I marvel at her willingness to expose her intimate desires and I grieve at her pain when her fears are made real, again and again.

I believe that honestly honouring your feelings, including the pains and the wounds, is the only way to survive life. Nothing is ever easy and you have to be able to adapt on your feet or risk insanity.

Recently she posted a link to a flash movie that another couple made about their journey (so far) with "infertility." It is amazing. It is as close as you can get to understanding without ever having been there. While you watch it consider your own humanity and how your heart moves in response to theirs.

Empty Arms

ELECT WESLEY SMYTH FOR ROW 2 COUNCILOR

Last night, after arriving home from an Edmonton Meadowlark Campaign Meeting, Duncan and I helped Wesley write his very first campaign speech. This involved watching choice excerpts from many political films on the bookshelf and discussing why politics is important to other grade six students. Wesley is running for Row 2 Councilor in his grade six class's mock Municipal Election (Council will serve for the rest of the school term). He has made signs, handbills and utilized his own blog as an election page. Watching him practise the speech was very cute. We are very proud. I will be voting in our municipal election the same day his class will vote in theirs, and then I am off to Calgary for the provinicial election. We have elections coming out of our ears!

Go Wes Go!

I understand her anger when she says that "Someone should pay for my husband's death."

Om Asatoma Sadgamaya
Tamasoma Jyoti Gamaya
Myrityoma Amritam Gamaya

From delusion lead me to truth
From darkness lead me to light
From death lead me to eternal life.

-Hindu prayer

Traffic deaths are devastatingly hard to reconcile because they are all preventable. Because of this there is no making any sense of them, ever. This means it is hard to find the answers to the many questions we as humans so inevitably seek in these situations.

Recently David Schop (45 of Calgary) was killed in a vehicular accident in Strathcona County. RCMP believe that a stop sign was purposely removed (in an unrelated incident, maybe as a prank) from an important intersection and as such Schop, who was unfamiliar with the rural area, proceeded into a situation which tragically and ultimately saw the ending of his life.

My heart goes out to his wife, Sandra. It's not like other losses. There is something unique about losing someone in this way, about having so many questions that will remain forever unanswered, about the pain of such a terribly pointless death that burns (eternally it seems), about the desperate need to fix the unfixable, to protect the unprotectable, to punish, to avenge, anything to stop the torture inside.

As I am freshly inducted into the realm of the road bereaved I know of the torment this brings her and her family. I know it well, a constant companion, a new driving force behind my awareness, motivations and determination.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Today I am thankful for my life and everything in it.

Thankful for my wonderful husband Duncan, my darling children Wesley and Raven, my Mom, Duncan's Dad, our delightful (yet not so large anymore) families, our many many friends, our cat Zoe, our puppy Luna(tic), our blog readership, our home, exciting upcoming opportunties, pretty sunsets, hugs, and for Blue Cross.

And I am very thankful for the bound-to-be amazing turkey dinner that is being cooked for us today by Quynn. Yum. We can't wait!

Our warmest wishes go out to everyone today. Peace be upon you where ever you are!

A Perfect Weekend is a Rare Gift

I'm glad this one is a long weekend.

Sky Captain (and the future of tomorrow)

I think that's what we are going to do tonight. My children are off to Calgary with their Dad and it's been a while since Duncan and I have been alone. We've been meaning to go see Sky Captain for a while now but we are pretty flexible. We had a wonderful night last night all crammed around a table in Hooters (WEM). I especially liked it when they made a (drunk) Duncan stand on a bar stool while they sang Happy Birthday to him. But a good time was had by the birthday boy, who has been making love to the XBox ever since opening his gifts. It's nice to see a happy Duncan. Now if we could only clear up his pnuemonia I'd be happy too.

Marching Orders (Call of Duty)

I am very excited about my upcoming Campaign duties - and about working with the great team that we have assembled and ready to go. Oct 19th is when I start, Calgary, here I come!

Commercial 101 (Fame and Good Fortune)

Today I was involved in the making of a commercial. Yep, that's me, TV star. A very interesting process, it was relatively quick and easy; I just sat there (with props) and stared at a dot on the chalkboard. The commercial will be used province wide during the Provincial Election so you can watch for me and Duncan on TV during that time. I know I'm excited.

Duncan = 26

Happy Birthday Duncan!!!!!!!

Little need for age-anxiety, 26 isn't really that old. And there truly are some great things about getting older:

Your investment in health/life insurance will begin to pay off.

Kidnappers are not very interested in you (unless you are filthy rich).

Your secrets are safer with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

Your supply of brain cells is reducing it's way to a manageable size.

There’s less left to learn the hard way.

Your joints become accurate than the Canadian Weather Service (trust me, this happens sooner than you think).

But all joking aside, let's enjoy a 26 year old Duncan now and worry about age later, because one day you really will get old! And you will still be sexy.

Over Reaction Day explained

PMS is rumoured to affect only 90% of women during their childbearing years. Personally, I actually don't know one woman who still has a uterus that doesn't enjoy PMS in some fashion. Most women experience symptoms with such severity that it interferes in one way or another with daily living activities. Or the daily living activities of our significant others, family members, pets, the mailman, drivers on the road, the clerk at the store, or any other poor unsuspecting bastard that dares to get in our way.

My monthly bout of estrogen dominance has sparked for me a "holiday," if you will, which I lovingingly refer to as "Over Reaction Day." Sometimes there are warning signs the night before, but usually Over Reaction Day arrives wreaking unexplained havoc on my successful, normally well adjusted, medication free, perfect, happy, responsible adult life. It's true. I fall asleep snuggling in the strong arms of the man who loves me, after a great evening, secure, happy and peaceful, dreaming of all the good times ahead of me, ahead for us.

And then I wake up.

I know right away what day it is. The fact that everything is WRONG from the moment I open my eyes is my first clue. It is like some great vengenance has been visited upon my cherished life and caused me to be annoyed and bothered by absolutely EVERYTHING, without cause or discretion. Usually I make some attempt to get up out of bed and tackle the world, even though somewhere underneath all my sudden irrationality I suspect it might bring world peace if I (and others like me) stayed in bed just this one day.

Yesterday, Duncan looked lovingly at me in the bed and asked if I would come to have coffee with him. He had no idea what demonic evils were brewing inside of me, yet, responding to his sweetness I said yes. Anyways, maybe I was wrong about what day it was. I mean, so far I had yet to shred the ankles of the nearest living being...

I made it ok to the coffee shop. But then it happened.

"I'd like a large medium roast coffee, please."

How dare he! He'd like "a" cup of coffee? How dare he insinuate that he is alone at the coffee shop, and not with me, the goddess of all things wonderful? And how could he NOT order ME a cup of coffee? ESPECIALLY after I so graciously ignored his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor that very morning?

Sensing a disturbance in the force, Duncan quickly ordered a coffee for me as well. But it was too late. Ofcourse it was.

So what do I do? I over reacted, ofcourse. After finishing my coffee I went straight to the mall and had my hair coloured.

Blonde.

And thats how I celebrated (survived?) this months Over Reaction Day.

Today is "Over Reaction Day"

It's best left at that for now...

And the Mist rolls down the Valley on Kitten Feet

Amidst much wonderful speculation, I should let you know that we are planning to have a baby. We are not yet having a baby, and we have yet to determine when our lives awould be best blest by such a gift, but we are touched by all the attention and warm wishes.

Our most recent baby dreaming began when our good friend Cathy discovered she was pregnant again. She was likely even just pregnant at our wedding (she was one of my bridesmaids, another blessing of the day). It's been wonderful to get wrapped up in the excitement of expecting a new being in our lives; the planning, the daydreaming, the realization that soon we shall embark on a similiar journey as a couple. The making of a space in our lives that will be filled with future love.

My friend is fresh out of baby names, so she asked me (being so creative and good at conjuring interesting names) for help. This led into our our collective daydreaming and subsequent planning. We're in no rush, but we now have a special place in our lives for a future little Wojtaszek. And we are happy in our anticipation.

Surfing...

Found this is in the online minutes of the U of A SU (July 13th).

Also, our Executive Director Duncan Wojtaszek got married on the 7th. Congratulations, and good luck to him and his wife Allie in the future. The Minister of Energy, Murray Smith, officiated the ceremony. Jordan, myself, and Brett Bergie (Provincial Director for ACTISEC) introduced ourselves to the Minister, then inadvertently ended up monopolizing his time at the post-ceremony reception as we discussed PSE issues.

Yes, only at my wedding would their be Political discussions and lobbying (oh and thanks, that was sweet).

I have learned a lot this year...

There is so much to incorporate and define, so many ways to honour how I have grown and changed, so many new opportunities to consider, and now so much time to do it with. Well, not really - it's all percieved time - but now that I have a good couple of weeks off I surely may permit myself sometime to quietly think about everything that has happened this year. Or maybe I am just thinkgin that to make myself feel better!

Today, I am on my way out the door to get some shopping done (girls bday party tomorrow), this afternoon I have campaign office tasks to complete, a webpage to build, an article to write for the newspaper and (I'm sure there is another and in there somewhere!)... tonight we are going for BBQ and Buffy at Quynns house. How is that for my first day off? Laughs. Well, maybe once I can sit myself down and think through all this stuff I will have relieved myself of my blogger's block.

In this last week I finished working (I was filling in for a Mat Leave), was asked to teach at my son's school (his teacher from grade five wants me to come and do some lectures on Journalism and Communications for her class - so now I am trying to find lesson plan examples that approach this in a fun way). Also at the school, I am working with the Principal, PTA and our Community Police Officer to improve traffic and pedestrian safety both at the school and in the neighbourhood (what else do you do when your brother is killed by a car?) and I turned down a job offer from CBC. I've turned down job offers before, but this time I actually stopped her in the interview, asked her a few questions of clarification, and told her that this wasn't the job for me, but thank you for considering me. It's totally not what I had originally thought it was and I am beyond the time in my life where four random jobs make any sense to me. Besides, look at how busy I am already.

This has been a busy year. But I am a busy girl.

Guilty Pleasures

Spent the evening playing Civ III with Duncan (who is terribly ill) and thinking about baby names. For a boy, Duncan favours the name Link. Actually, knowing Duncan, he might favour that name for a girl as well!

GIRLS NAMES
Michaela (or Mikhala)
Adele
Emily (Em)
Leia
Sariah
Arwen
Megan
Kashi (or Tashi)
Alberta (Allie)
Juniper (June)
Jana
Willow
Shiloh
Whitney
Aisha
Kayla
Dharma
Siobhan
Starr
Summer
Uma
Rayna (or Rayne)

BOYS NAMES
Darian
Blake
Joel
Elvis
Joseph (Joe)
Damian
Quynn
Isaac
Joshua (Josh)
Jeremy
Noah
Luke
Skye
Kougar (or Cougar)
Brendan
Logan
Caelhan (Cael)
Campbell or Cambell (Cam)
River
Malcolm
Lincoln (Linc)
Avery
Sasha

Can you study for a urine test?

I am trying to write my article for the paper. My deadline is already past, the paper goes to print tonight. I just got the material about an hour ago, and I despair. Problem is, I am soposed to be funny, but none of the material is funny. Actually, most of it's lame, the best stuff is a couple of potheads and a guy masturbating and thats all I have to work with. Inspiration, come to me.

Here's a Pot Head joke I just found on the internet:

A stoner called the fire department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, in a big red truck!"

Sigh.

Together, Team Alberta!

Well, officially my last day on the job is this Thursday (Yay!). My first official campaign event is Friday (Duncan's is this Tuesday night). Things are really starting to pull together, we both have very good teams to work with and I am getting excited - even though I am facing the several small dilemmas one might expect to face when so involved in a campaign that is in another city. However, We shall perservere, that much is obvious.

I am not sure exactly when I will be opening the campaign office (likely just after Thanksgiving), but I am both looking forward to Calgary (election excitement, election events, friends, my fav gym, chinooks), and dreading it (missing Duncan, my kids and the puppy already). Actually, dreading is likely too strong a word, as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder... and between the two of us working in senior campaign positions in two seperate cities, we will still manage to find the time for one another. We always have.

Maybe during my time off (between this job and the Campaign Office) I can find my blogging groove again. I haven't written anything impassioned in a while, it's like a crude form of blogger's block. Suggestions of topics anyone?

'What do we do now night' in Canada

Watch Star Wars, of course. All of them. Invite friends over to watch (and even friends' dogs). Eat, drink, be merry.

May the Force be with you.

You must Unlearn what you have Learned

Try not. Do. Or, do not. There is no try.

The Politics of Dinosaur Dung

I was reading the Globe and Mail this morning and I came across the plight of blogger Penny Cholmondeley, now of lovely Victoria, BC.

Fellow bloggers, there is a travesty afoot here.

Penny, who was living up north working in the tourism industry, described in her blog her experiences with the northern culture and landscape. She never once talked about her job or mentioned her employer, but she was honest with her opinion, like when she once said she didn't like a resturant she went to, and once used an artful picture of some trash on the tundra in a post. Mostly though, she illustrated her blog with beautiful pictures and positive words about her experience.

She was still on probation at work when her employer saw her blog and she was fired. They cited only disatisfaction with her blog.

Her personal journal.

Now, not only are blogs personal online sites that people visit of their own free accord, they are mostly descriptions of someone's life experience and the opinions that are formed from living that. Unless you are openly trashing someone (and breaking the laws regarding libel/slander) or breaking already agreed upon rules (like not giving away business secrets) then it all falls into freedom of speech and expression.

And I think those freedoms are important.

I am concerned that, if nothing is done, bloggers will face continued discrimination from employers who think they they own and/or have control of all aspects of a bloggers life. As far as I know, in Canada, you are allowed to have and express an opinion that differs from that of your employer. Even if it is completely contrary to your employer's opinion, and especially if you are expressing that opinion during your personal time.

I think this is worth defining and fighting for, not only for a specific number of Canadian bloggers, but really for all Canadians, because if we let some of our rights erode than pretty soon we won't notice that they are all gone.

Anyone?

See also:

Blogger fired for Blogging (includes the email address of the person who fired Penny)
Polar Penny (Ghost of a Flea)

Mama, Life Had Just Begun...

Sue Sapir-Niederer is angry that her son is dead.

At the tender age of 24 years, Army 1st Lt. Seth Dvorin was killed in Iraq this past February. Like any one else that loses a loved one Sapir-Niederer has questions that deserve answers, but when she dared to voice them, she found herself arrested.

Her real mistake was thinking that first lady Laura Bush might care about her war hero son, or other american families like hers. But after refusing to acknowledge Sapir-Niederer at a campaign rally and waiting for her to be dragged away, the first lady continued speaking about her husbands great achievements in the war on terror.

Police have since dismissed the charges against her. But there still doesn't seem to be anyone willing to answer her question. Having made the ultimate sacrifice for her country, I think someone should tell her why.

Let Us Play

There are lots of Canadians who would happily play with a salary cap in place, lots of people dreaming of being able to play. It's our game. Bring it back. Let us play.

HOCKEY IS CANADA'S GAME

Dear Mr. Bettman:

No lock out please. That is all.

Allie

WE WON!!!

Yay Team Mike Smyth!

Now it is time to go to bed.

WE WON!!!

Yay Team Canada!

What does Momentum and Horses have to do with it?

Everytime I see Mayor Bill Smith's slogan of "Keep the Momentum Going" I can't help but think "Don't switch horses in mid-stream..."

Oh come on. We all know it's NOT a Forest Fire...

Last Thursday, on "Foundation Day," the 56th anniversary of the Communist Regime in North Korea, a mushroom cloud (up to 4 kms in diameter) blasted to life in the remote Ryanggang province (Kim Hyong Jik county). This northeastern area is a heavily militarized area near to known Daepodong 1 and 2 missile bases. The damage and crater left by this explosion is big enough to be observed by satellite. North Korea has both been honest about their aspirations to test a nuclear weapon and recently vocal with their distrust of South Korea given recent reports from that country of testing their own nuclear materials.

All coincidence?

We just read a story in CNN that american sources are suggesting the mushroom cloud is just from a forest fire. Gimme a break.

Some things never get back to the way they were

Three Years Today.

"Every day is hard, but this day is a little bit harder," said Nancy Brandemarti, who was attending the ground zero remembrance for the first time. "This day is just a day to think about him."

Today, parents and grandparents read the list of the 2,749 people killed at the WTC on Sept 11th 2001. The recitation lasted more than two hours. It's odd how just a couple of hours can have such an impact on the world.

Best. Spam. Yet.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

One look from you, I drift away...

(In my best singing voice)
I live, my life, to be with you...
No one can do the things you do!
Anything you want, you got it.
Anything you need, you got it.
Anything at all, you got it.
Baby!
Anything you want, Anything you need
Anything at all!

I love you Duncan!

Happy Birthday Raven Dawn

One day, shortly after Christmas in 1994 my sister told me I was pregnant. I laughed at her - ridiculous, I said - I was just starting to get my figure back after the first baby!

Two weeks later, my jeans didn't fit quite right. Peculiar. A week after that I threw up first thing in the morning. Maybe I was pregnant, but the doctor's office test was negative, and then it seemed my period had come. Hmmmm. So I can't be pregnant right?

It only took me one more week to come to the conclusion that I really was indeed pregnant. I informed my doctor, and after a few days decided it was a good thing, albeit bad timing (I was moving to another province the same month as my due date). The baby grew on me, and I (knowing it was a girl) began to refer to her as Raven. Everyone laughed at me but I didn't care... Where I lived the ravens would come and fly over me, circling, calling, laughing even. Every day. The name was perfect.

A couple of months before she was born I had solidified her name - she would be called Raven Dawn Christina Smyth (After my friend Dawn and my Mother). Still no one but me believed her to be a girl, but I knew her.

Raven joined us the evening of Sept 9th 1995, via C-Section, after I had accidently broken my water moving some boxes and the couch. It was just days after we had moved to Calgary. She was a delightful baby whom almost never cried and slept so much I dreamt of forgetting her places. I have very much enjoyed watching her grow into the fine young woman she is becoming.

Happy Birthday Baby. I love you!

How dumb is too dumb?

Oh dear. According to Bush, it seems many american's just aren't living the american dream.

Watch Practicing the Love on Angry Finger (link via WTF People).

Some things you just have to see to believe. He really is as stupid as he looks...

Last Will and Testament

Well today Duncan and I wrote our Wills, Personal Directives and Power of Attorney documents. Enough people have died this year for us without Wills that we knew we didn't want to be intestate ourselves (especially with kids).

After dinner we even had the kids think about what they wanted in the way of funeral arrangements (I typed them up mini "wills") and hilarity ensued - the kids were surprisingly able to determine what they wanted done with their remains and what type of service they wanted in a fairly serious manner, but some absolute jems of thought made me laugh...

Raven wishes her decorative urn and ashes to be carried to her beachside memorial by a horse. The urn must rest on a pink pillow and have a crown drapped over it.

Wesley wishes to have a plain white urn that Duncan and I are to decorate/paint with any design that we want except for "anything pink, flowery or otherwise girly."

Ah, Peace of mind, here we come!

My Brother's Last Words

A couple of months before he was killed my brother packaged up a box of his important stuff (mainly pictures and keepsakes) and sent it to his best friend Geoff, with a card and letter attached.

I doubt he had a premonition about his impending death, especially given it's sudden accidental nature, but he did manage to achieve what many of us are left to regret in the end, not saying what you really need or want to say to those you care about. My brother reached out and touched one person that meant the world to him, and he was lucky enough to do it in time. Here is what he wrote:

My Friend,

It would bring me great joy to have this letter find you well. You may indeed find my card to you puzzling to say the least, although I am in full confidence that you will get the meaning in the words and title, for my friend, my brother from another mother as it were.

Anyhow as odd as it may seem your Mother and Father both had a hand in raising me and I have come to think of you more of a brother than my friend!

As it is in all my new knowledge, friends and people I know seem superfluvious in the shadow of the man I would call the only friend I have and the only man I think of and miss more than a good woman.

I know the hour of this card is late, for sure you have more questions then I have the answers to. There has been much afoot in these many months since I have seen you and I am sure more in the past years since I had left that I have let on. Although and to be sure I now know the true meaning of pain, among other emotions. Seems my other friends were right in calling me "Isakawuarte" (benevolent, mischievious, amoral, cunning, sly, resourceful, antagonistic and sometimes destructive). Yes, of all things I have been called or named, I like Isakawuate and it's meaning best.

I digress - and somethings are better said in council of friends with the aid of Ale!

The contents of the box are just some personal affects and in no way dangerous or illegal but I do ask it remain closed for now. Please keep it safe as I shall follow it home.

I hope you could read this, it seems my spoken word still is better than my written. Anyhow, and without further adieu, I shall see you soon my friend, my brother, may your home be filled with Laughter and joy.

Chris.

The Winds of Change...

I figured out today that I have owned my domain now for 2 and a half years.

I'm thinking a complete overhaul is due. I don't know how long it will take to design and finish, but eventually this blog addy will change as I merge everything onto "one" site.

Election stuff is getting exciting. That's all I can say about that (for now).

Observations of a puppy owner

Who would have thought that there could be something more challenging than childrearing? Who would have thought that "toddler rules" apply to puppies as well?

Duncan and Luna are very cute together. They bring out "the best" in each other, I can't believe we waited so long to get a dog... tonight they have entertained me to no end.

But I have decided that Luna is short for Lunatic and has nothing whatsoever to do with the moon, unless the phases cause her more lunacy...

*rolling eyes*

Picture Perfect

Finally our professional pictures are done. It should be noted that whilst eagerly tearing off my garter my delightfully darling husband bit me. It was not the first time that day he had bit me, either - and it wasn't the last!

Welcome Luna

Allow us to introduce our newest family member, our new puppy,

Luna.

Luna (latin for Moon) was born on March 21 of this year in Thailand. She is a Blue Heeler cross with black and white markings (the Queensland Blue Heeler is a Border Collie/Dingo Worrigal hybrid). Luna came to Canada sometime in July of this year, and found her way to us through Dawn, who brought Luna down to us after the funeral on the 27th - the night of the full moon.

I wanted her to have a name that was unique and reflected her connection with the Island. Luna's name is derived from/after the (now famous) Killer Whale Luna, who has adopted a small First Nations community near Gold River, Vancouver Island, British Columbia.

The Mowachaht-Muchalaht believe Luna to be the reincarnation of Chief Ambrose Maquinna, who before his death declared that his spirit would return to his people as Kakaawin (a Killer Whale). Three days after he died, Luna appeared, stayed and has lived there for over three years. His traditional name is Tsuux-iit.

LUNA ON DOGSTER!

Wow. A few links there for you to click on (the ones in orange). And after you are finished surfing, make sure to drop me some helpful hints on house training adorable puppies who forget to pee outside!

Good Night Sweetheart, Good Night

R.I.P. Christopher John Perkins

Till we meet tomorrow, Good night sweetheart,
Sleep will banish sorrow.
Tears and parting may make us forlorn,
But with the dawn a new day is born,
So I'll say Good night, sweetheart,
Tho' I'm not beside you, Good night, sweetheart,
Still my love will guide you
Dreams enfold you, in each one I'll hold you,

Good night, sweetheart, good night.

Chris's memorial went well today. It was comforting to see and hear the many things that those that knew him remebered most about him. I enjoyed hearing their kind words and came away knwing my brother a little more than I did before. I especially want to thank the people who helped me pull it together; Duncan, who graciously did the introduction and summation, Geoff (my brother's best friend) who said the Eulogy in a truly touching and heartwarming manner, Wesley (my son) who read one of my favourite poems; and Nikki (my long time friend who declared "I knew Chris when he was melting GI Joe guys") gave out the flowers bulbs we gave away in rememberance. It was a nice (and quick) ceremony and I was happy to see everyone again, albeit next time I hope it to be under different circumstances...

Today is the big day...

WE GOT A PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is just what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Out on the ocean, ship sailing away
I can hardly wait To see you come of age
But I guess we'll just have to be patient
Cause it's a long way to go, a hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go, but in the meantime,

Before you cross the street, take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you
while you're busy making other plans,

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy.

What's in a name?

Thinking up puppy names... Heres what I have dreamt up so far, let me know what you think:

Sasha; Sariah; Paris; Indianna (Indy); Iggy; Willow; Marley; Karma; Reese; Milo; Kyra; Sage; Mieko; Asia; Froddo; Bilbo; Kaida; Lilo; Gimli; Rohan; Arwen; Bailey; Joey.

Suggestions?

Love Actually

"When I get gloomy with the state of the world I think of the Arrival's Gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there. Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know, none of the messages from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge, they were all messages of love. And if you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love, actually, is all around."

Ahhh. Romantic Comedies. There's been a couple recently that we have enjoyed, Love Actually and 50 First Dates. There is nothing like a romantic comedy for sending the kids to bed early, cuddling up together under a blanket on the love seat, giggling and holding hands for a good couple of hours. I'd recommend both movies, especially if you have a desire to be distracted from the demands of mundane life for a little while.

Good News all round!

CATHY IS HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay for Babies!

Motto to live by

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - what a ride!"

Recently I have been trying to take just one day at a time...

But today it seems that several of them stuck up and hit me all at once. What a long day I had today. I feel like I was on the phone forever; I'm tired and I have a headache. But hopefully by tomorrow evening I will be able to declare that my brother's arrangements are in place and that we have a memorial to go to.

Duncan brought me back a box of photo's from my Mom when he was in Calgary that I just finished scanning and making picture disks for people. Interestingly enough, one of those pictures was a cute little picture of my brother wearing my frilly nightgown on Christmas morning when he was six. This picture was often the source of embarrassment for him, which ofcourse (being a fine and upstanding sister) I capitalized on as much as possible. When I first scanned this picture in, the file showed up blank. It was just a white picture. That made me smile. I figured if my brother really didn't want me to include that picture on his photodisk then the same would be repeated when I scanned it the second time as well (then that really would constitute a sign).

Isn't that cute? I almost forgot he was also wearing my pink housecoat. He would so kick my ass if he was here...

120.00 Later...

... and kid's school supplies are done. Well, not including indoor shoes, school clothes, hair cuts, school lunch stuff, lunch room fees and the supplementary school supply lists that the kids will come home with in the first week of school.

But at the very least I can say they are excited to be going back. That's worth something.

On the morning show today

Rod Kurtz and Allie Wojtaszek, CBC Radio Edmonton, (CBX-AM) 740 AM on the dial.

On the edge of something much too deep...

Remember all the good times that we had
Let them slip away from us when things got bad
Clearly I first saw you, smiling in the sun
I want to feel your warmth upon me,
I want to be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired,I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much
but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, we can't be heard

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose...

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

Something's are nice to hear

Nice to know I am someone's hero right now...

Thanks Joel!

Only Time...

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,
In your heart.

And who can say when the day sleeps,
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...
Enya

I believe...

I believe
That imagination is stronger than knowledge.
That myth is more potent than history.
That dreams are more powerful than facts.
That hope always triumphs over experience.
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death.
Robert Fulghum

Dear Editor's;

My brother, Chris Perkins, was killed on the Lion’s Gate Bridge August 8th. He was trying to direct cars around a stalled vehicle that was blocking traffic over the bridge. He was hit by a speeding vehicle from behind, thrown more than 10 feet, and killed instantly. He had just turned 30 years old.

This year, the World Health Organisation (WHO) designated road safety as a global public health issue, stating that road traffic deaths ranked second only to HIV/AIDS in leading causes of death for people aged 15–44. Each year, many more than 1 million people are killed on roads, and 50 million more are injured in some way.

It does seem to be an unavoidable fact that accidents happen, but by their very nature they are almost always preventable. Admittedly, few drivers set out to kill anyone, but this detail rarely eases the pain of the road bereaved.

The reality is that road safety is not an accident. It is up to each one of us to take the actions necessary to limit traffic related injuries and fatalities, regardless of how we are using the roadway.

Slow down. Speed is a factor in many road accidents, and it can turn any situation into a fatal one in just a few seconds.

Look where you're going. When driving, maintain an accurate perception of what is going on around you so you always have time to react appropriately.

Be considerate of other road-users, and try to keep a safe zone in mind when passing an emergency situation on the road. You never know when someone is going to be suddenly in front of you.

And for pedestrians; remember, the only thing that can stop a car is the driver. Be careful of how much trust with which you step out onto a road, you never know when or how that driver might be distracted. Some mistakes can’t be fixed.

My brother was somebody important and, like everyone else, he had dreams and a life to live, a life that ended much too soon. I only had one brother. Please slow down.

Allie Wojtaszek
Edmonton, Alberta

Today, 1978 seems so long ago.

How is it that a life can be reduced to this?

Passenger of broken-down van struck and killed while directing traffic

It's weird when you spend your time reading about other people's misfortunes in the news to suddenly be faced with seeing your own with such candidacy. For everyone looking at this story, that's just a body of someone they didn't know, someone who tried to help, who tried to do what was right as they saw fit, someone they are easily distanced from, or worse yet, even just another headline. It's odd to try to see this from that point of view.

For me, that's my brother under that blanket. His name is Chris Perkins and he turned 30 in July. That's the last image I will ever see of him. Sometimes Life really bites you in the ass. This has been a really bad year for that.

If my head wasn't screwed on...

I am faced with a day of being jabbed by sharp pointy objects intended to drain my crucial body fluids by our trusted health care professionals. I'd rather be at the beach.

Oh yeah, go Wild Fire!

Don't Run. We are your Friends.

Tonight we were treated to a wonderfully roasted dinner at Quynn's house where we also had a treat to celebrate our one month wedding anniversary - we watched both Spaceballs and Mars Attacks! I'd never seen them before and laughed my way through them both.

I have almost finished updating my home page since the last name and marital staus change, including a page for our ceremony and vows as well. Feel free to visit, there's no charge. And (drum roll please) there's more to come!

Happy one month anniversary baby!