Thursday, May 29, 2003

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me lay an invincible summer”
- Albert Camus

It was an amazing walk to work this morning – there is something to be said about that great contrast between feeling the morning sun on your face and then the coolness on your skin as you walk through the early morning shade, and then sunshine again. That dreamy promise in the new, crisp morning air that is tempered only by the encroaching warmth of the day. That glorious, almost luxurious feel of the spring wind, which across my tanned skin that feels like a caress as it lifts up my hair…. The playful memory of my lover’s early morning touch… That happy, giddy feeling inside of me that comes from being in love, and being loved in return. – life is so good! It was one of those mornings where I was suspected I was five minutes late for work, but didn’t care…

Since I was a small child I have always been a sun worshipper, soaking it up where ever possible, basking in the sun’s glory, adoring the feel of it’s warmth on my skin. I am definitely a creature that belongs outside. That being said, Duncan and I get our bikes out of the shop today and I can’t wait!

The weather is refreshing, finally, after such a long winter, like a release that has set us free. The Canadian winter is long, sometimes hard, and we pass the time together inside; snuggled on the couch, fires in the fireplace, movies, video games, and the things that other Canadian couples do when the mercury drops to harrowing depths (you know, like play hockey!)….

It’s great that everyone around me is so happy… it’s like this bubbly intoxicating feeling inside that sings to me, and I know that nothing could dampen it. It’s nice for everyone to be in such a good mood – Duncan’s excitement is contagious and the kids are so full of anticipation they are sure they can can see Summer Vacation from where they are today!

I am almost finished reading the last of the two books I have been reading lately – the first was Blackbird: A Childhood Lost and Found, and the second, the sequel to Blackbird, is called Still Waters. Both written by Jennifer Lauck, they are the story of her lifetime from her earliest memories, detailing (sometimes shockingly unbelievable and sad) events that she had to muster courage enough just to survive. It’s a powerful story, but not necessarily because of everything that has happened to her, but because it’s her story and she is telling it. Because she empowers herself in it’s sharing, and refuses to keep the secrets any longer. She is owning her responsibility and letting everyone else own their’s. She shows us the way. It's an important lesson for us, as we nestle comfortably into a society that tends to hide more in denial and blame than in anything else. It truly is compelling when you can accept responsibilty for yourself, your own life and pull yourself out of the blame game that some people get so caught up in they stay there, victims for life. Don't be a martyr or a casualty. Command your life and it's outcomes, now. And enjoy doing it (winks)!

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly..... "

Well, it's my lunch break, so I am off to sit in the sun, finish my book AND daydream happily about where this summer will take me, and my family. Let the adventures begin!

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