Saturday, October 11, 2003

They say that...

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

That to imitate someone is to pay that person a genuine compliment, yet an often unintended compliment. It is unintended, I imagine, when it is borne from the depths of hatred, obsession, preoccupation, jealousy, and denial.

It is as if, in one's own furious resentment, they entrap themselves into a never ending, pathetic, cycle of perpetually envious coveting. Like somehow, if they become "like" the person being imitated, they will somehow be as "liked" by those around, or knowing, the subject person. It's like they forget that they are actually a person themselves, with a life to live. Get on with it, already.

Or maybe it is just Bipolar Disorder (usually characterized by elevated or irritable moods, grandiosity, sleeplessness, extravagance, an inability to maintain relationships, a tendency toward irrational judgment, lethargy, withdrawal, showing lack of concentration, and expressing feelings of worthlessness, self-blame, and guilt) as some have been so bold to suggest. Who knows? AND if so, why won't this person get some help?

As I am not a big fan of dishonest internal dialogue, I will say (as all is fair in the public domain) that I am referring to my fiances ex wife. In a crude sort of way, it is at times, like having my own private stalker, except the obsession surrounds my entire family and likely even my friends. I can, of course, track her IP address(es) as she views my web pages, and everytime I add something it seems that I eventually discover that she has added it too. Flattering? Maybe. But mostly sad. It's been two years since they have been seperated/divorced, three or four years if you consider the emotional separation. It's more than time to move on.

Yesterday I was surfing through a second wives/blended family (thank gods they never had kids) web board and was pleasantly surprised to discover we are not the only family with these kinds of issues to deal with. Lucky for us though, we actually don't have to deal with them. It's over. We have moved on, new beginnings from one of life's endings, as the world demands. There are no more ties to be severed, no reason to maintain contact or even wonder at the state of the other person's life. Who cares? And if, in the future there are issues to be dealt with, they will be dealt with within the extent that the law allows, not by our own personal concern. Otherwise, there is much indifference.

I realize that with the presence I have built on the web that my life is open to public scrutiny, and I am okay with that, even if it means someone who doesn't like me choses to visit my space. Like I said, it is public domain, and everyone is welcome. I have often wondered to myself, out loud, how much of the story to tell, and I have decided today that I will tell it like it is, as it arises, if it does. That way, it isn't open to interpretation by storytellers with no, or little, rights to tell the story. After all, it is my life, the story is already being told...

As for being observed/copied/etc, *shrugs*, who cares? I have inspired many to begin blogs and web pages and Duncan and I have often helped in the creation of such. We have helped many more, as I have been helped by those who have inspired me during my journey across the web community. It's what the web is about, and I believe in that.

Imitation is a sincere form of flattery. I like to be sincere and genuine, and if that inspires others - then I am honored, regardless of who they, or what their intentions, are.

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