Sunday, October 05, 2003

The Science of Intimacy

As promised, I am blogging about about the "Loving Styles Profile" that Duncan and I participated in (U of A's Department of Human and Family Ecology). After individually answering and scoring 54 separate questions, this is what we have discovered:

My predominant loving styles are "Companionant Love" (first) and "Altruisitc Love" (second). Duncan's predominant loving styles are "Altruistic Love" (first) and his second scores were tied with both "Companionate Love" and "Romantic Love". Apparently, "Altruistic Love" is very uncommon in Adult loving styles, especially so prominently figured as we scored. But then again, we are no ordinary couple, and never have been. For the curious, here are the definitions of the above mentioned styles...

COMPANIONATE LOVE: is experienced as close and loving friendship, and develops over time. Having common interests and hobbies provides an important foundation for companionate love. This kind of love is generally not experienced as intense, but rather as comfortable and secure. Companionate lovers can disagree or argue without threatening the relationship. Committment, trust, and loyalty are important to companionate love.

ALTRUISTIC LOVE: is a gentle, patient, caring style of love. It is a giving and self sacrificing kind of love. Loyalty is important. Altruists put their partners happiness and well being before their own and expect nothing in return. Although many people have a component of Altruistic Love in thier loving style, it is very uncommon as a predoominant loving style in adult love relationships.

ROMANTIC LOVE: is a passionate kind of love that begins as a powerful attraction to the typical appearance of another. Romantics experience love as an intense physical respose to another. They love to look at the person they love, gaze into their eyes, touch and hold them. Romantics have intense desires to be with their partner and care for them. Sexual intimacy is usually an important component to this style of love.

The other Loving Styles featured in the Profile are as follows: Manic Love, Egotistical Love, and Pragmatic Love.

It's no wonder we seem to be so perfectly suited for each other.

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