One look from you, I drift away...

(In my best singing voice)
I live, my life, to be with you...
No one can do the things you do!
Anything you want, you got it.
Anything you need, you got it.
Anything at all, you got it.
Baby!
Anything you want, Anything you need
Anything at all!

I love you Duncan!

Happy Birthday Raven Dawn

One day, shortly after Christmas in 1994 my sister told me I was pregnant. I laughed at her - ridiculous, I said - I was just starting to get my figure back after the first baby!

Two weeks later, my jeans didn't fit quite right. Peculiar. A week after that I threw up first thing in the morning. Maybe I was pregnant, but the doctor's office test was negative, and then it seemed my period had come. Hmmmm. So I can't be pregnant right?

It only took me one more week to come to the conclusion that I really was indeed pregnant. I informed my doctor, and after a few days decided it was a good thing, albeit bad timing (I was moving to another province the same month as my due date). The baby grew on me, and I (knowing it was a girl) began to refer to her as Raven. Everyone laughed at me but I didn't care... Where I lived the ravens would come and fly over me, circling, calling, laughing even. Every day. The name was perfect.

A couple of months before she was born I had solidified her name - she would be called Raven Dawn Christina Smyth (After my friend Dawn and my Mother). Still no one but me believed her to be a girl, but I knew her.

Raven joined us the evening of Sept 9th 1995, via C-Section, after I had accidently broken my water moving some boxes and the couch. It was just days after we had moved to Calgary. She was a delightful baby whom almost never cried and slept so much I dreamt of forgetting her places. I have very much enjoyed watching her grow into the fine young woman she is becoming.

Happy Birthday Baby. I love you!

How dumb is too dumb?

Oh dear. According to Bush, it seems many american's just aren't living the american dream.

Watch Practicing the Love on Angry Finger (link via WTF People).

Some things you just have to see to believe. He really is as stupid as he looks...

Last Will and Testament

Well today Duncan and I wrote our Wills, Personal Directives and Power of Attorney documents. Enough people have died this year for us without Wills that we knew we didn't want to be intestate ourselves (especially with kids).

After dinner we even had the kids think about what they wanted in the way of funeral arrangements (I typed them up mini "wills") and hilarity ensued - the kids were surprisingly able to determine what they wanted done with their remains and what type of service they wanted in a fairly serious manner, but some absolute jems of thought made me laugh...

Raven wishes her decorative urn and ashes to be carried to her beachside memorial by a horse. The urn must rest on a pink pillow and have a crown drapped over it.

Wesley wishes to have a plain white urn that Duncan and I are to decorate/paint with any design that we want except for "anything pink, flowery or otherwise girly."

Ah, Peace of mind, here we come!

My Brother's Last Words

A couple of months before he was killed my brother packaged up a box of his important stuff (mainly pictures and keepsakes) and sent it to his best friend Geoff, with a card and letter attached.

I doubt he had a premonition about his impending death, especially given it's sudden accidental nature, but he did manage to achieve what many of us are left to regret in the end, not saying what you really need or want to say to those you care about. My brother reached out and touched one person that meant the world to him, and he was lucky enough to do it in time. Here is what he wrote:

My Friend,

It would bring me great joy to have this letter find you well. You may indeed find my card to you puzzling to say the least, although I am in full confidence that you will get the meaning in the words and title, for my friend, my brother from another mother as it were.

Anyhow as odd as it may seem your Mother and Father both had a hand in raising me and I have come to think of you more of a brother than my friend!

As it is in all my new knowledge, friends and people I know seem superfluvious in the shadow of the man I would call the only friend I have and the only man I think of and miss more than a good woman.

I know the hour of this card is late, for sure you have more questions then I have the answers to. There has been much afoot in these many months since I have seen you and I am sure more in the past years since I had left that I have let on. Although and to be sure I now know the true meaning of pain, among other emotions. Seems my other friends were right in calling me "Isakawuarte" (benevolent, mischievious, amoral, cunning, sly, resourceful, antagonistic and sometimes destructive). Yes, of all things I have been called or named, I like Isakawuate and it's meaning best.

I digress - and somethings are better said in council of friends with the aid of Ale!

The contents of the box are just some personal affects and in no way dangerous or illegal but I do ask it remain closed for now. Please keep it safe as I shall follow it home.

I hope you could read this, it seems my spoken word still is better than my written. Anyhow, and without further adieu, I shall see you soon my friend, my brother, may your home be filled with Laughter and joy.

Chris.

The Winds of Change...

I figured out today that I have owned my domain now for 2 and a half years.

I'm thinking a complete overhaul is due. I don't know how long it will take to design and finish, but eventually this blog addy will change as I merge everything onto "one" site.

Election stuff is getting exciting. That's all I can say about that (for now).

Observations of a puppy owner

Who would have thought that there could be something more challenging than childrearing? Who would have thought that "toddler rules" apply to puppies as well?

Duncan and Luna are very cute together. They bring out "the best" in each other, I can't believe we waited so long to get a dog... tonight they have entertained me to no end.

But I have decided that Luna is short for Lunatic and has nothing whatsoever to do with the moon, unless the phases cause her more lunacy...

*rolling eyes*

Picture Perfect

Finally our professional pictures are done. It should be noted that whilst eagerly tearing off my garter my delightfully darling husband bit me. It was not the first time that day he had bit me, either - and it wasn't the last!

Welcome Luna

Allow us to introduce our newest family member, our new puppy,

Luna.

Luna (latin for Moon) was born on March 21 of this year in Thailand. She is a Blue Heeler cross with black and white markings (the Queensland Blue Heeler is a Border Collie/Dingo Worrigal hybrid). Luna came to Canada sometime in July of this year, and found her way to us through Dawn, who brought Luna down to us after the funeral on the 27th - the night of the full moon.

I wanted her to have a name that was unique and reflected her connection with the Island. Luna's name is derived from/after the (now famous) Killer Whale Luna, who has adopted a small First Nations community near Gold River, Vancouver Island, British Columbia.

The Mowachaht-Muchalaht believe Luna to be the reincarnation of Chief Ambrose Maquinna, who before his death declared that his spirit would return to his people as Kakaawin (a Killer Whale). Three days after he died, Luna appeared, stayed and has lived there for over three years. His traditional name is Tsuux-iit.

LUNA ON DOGSTER!

Wow. A few links there for you to click on (the ones in orange). And after you are finished surfing, make sure to drop me some helpful hints on house training adorable puppies who forget to pee outside!

Good Night Sweetheart, Good Night

R.I.P. Christopher John Perkins

Till we meet tomorrow, Good night sweetheart,
Sleep will banish sorrow.
Tears and parting may make us forlorn,
But with the dawn a new day is born,
So I'll say Good night, sweetheart,
Tho' I'm not beside you, Good night, sweetheart,
Still my love will guide you
Dreams enfold you, in each one I'll hold you,

Good night, sweetheart, good night.

Chris's memorial went well today. It was comforting to see and hear the many things that those that knew him remebered most about him. I enjoyed hearing their kind words and came away knwing my brother a little more than I did before. I especially want to thank the people who helped me pull it together; Duncan, who graciously did the introduction and summation, Geoff (my brother's best friend) who said the Eulogy in a truly touching and heartwarming manner, Wesley (my son) who read one of my favourite poems; and Nikki (my long time friend who declared "I knew Chris when he was melting GI Joe guys") gave out the flowers bulbs we gave away in rememberance. It was a nice (and quick) ceremony and I was happy to see everyone again, albeit next time I hope it to be under different circumstances...

Today is the big day...

WE GOT A PUPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is just what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Out on the ocean, ship sailing away
I can hardly wait To see you come of age
But I guess we'll just have to be patient
Cause it's a long way to go, a hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go, but in the meantime,

Before you cross the street, take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you
while you're busy making other plans,

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful Boy.

What's in a name?

Thinking up puppy names... Heres what I have dreamt up so far, let me know what you think:

Sasha; Sariah; Paris; Indianna (Indy); Iggy; Willow; Marley; Karma; Reese; Milo; Kyra; Sage; Mieko; Asia; Froddo; Bilbo; Kaida; Lilo; Gimli; Rohan; Arwen; Bailey; Joey.

Suggestions?

Love Actually

"When I get gloomy with the state of the world I think of the Arrival's Gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there. Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know, none of the messages from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge, they were all messages of love. And if you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love, actually, is all around."

Ahhh. Romantic Comedies. There's been a couple recently that we have enjoyed, Love Actually and 50 First Dates. There is nothing like a romantic comedy for sending the kids to bed early, cuddling up together under a blanket on the love seat, giggling and holding hands for a good couple of hours. I'd recommend both movies, especially if you have a desire to be distracted from the demands of mundane life for a little while.

Good News all round!

CATHY IS HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay for Babies!

Motto to live by

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - what a ride!"

Recently I have been trying to take just one day at a time...

But today it seems that several of them stuck up and hit me all at once. What a long day I had today. I feel like I was on the phone forever; I'm tired and I have a headache. But hopefully by tomorrow evening I will be able to declare that my brother's arrangements are in place and that we have a memorial to go to.

Duncan brought me back a box of photo's from my Mom when he was in Calgary that I just finished scanning and making picture disks for people. Interestingly enough, one of those pictures was a cute little picture of my brother wearing my frilly nightgown on Christmas morning when he was six. This picture was often the source of embarrassment for him, which ofcourse (being a fine and upstanding sister) I capitalized on as much as possible. When I first scanned this picture in, the file showed up blank. It was just a white picture. That made me smile. I figured if my brother really didn't want me to include that picture on his photodisk then the same would be repeated when I scanned it the second time as well (then that really would constitute a sign).

Isn't that cute? I almost forgot he was also wearing my pink housecoat. He would so kick my ass if he was here...

120.00 Later...

... and kid's school supplies are done. Well, not including indoor shoes, school clothes, hair cuts, school lunch stuff, lunch room fees and the supplementary school supply lists that the kids will come home with in the first week of school.

But at the very least I can say they are excited to be going back. That's worth something.

On the morning show today

Rod Kurtz and Allie Wojtaszek, CBC Radio Edmonton, (CBX-AM) 740 AM on the dial.

On the edge of something much too deep...

Remember all the good times that we had
Let them slip away from us when things got bad
Clearly I first saw you, smiling in the sun
I want to feel your warmth upon me,
I want to be the one

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I'm so tired,I can't sleep
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep
It's funny how we feel so much
but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, we can't be heard

I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose...

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

Something's are nice to hear

Nice to know I am someone's hero right now...

Thanks Joel!

Only Time...

Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love dies?
Only time...

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,
In your heart.

And who can say when the day sleeps,
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...
Enya

I believe...

I believe
That imagination is stronger than knowledge.
That myth is more potent than history.
That dreams are more powerful than facts.
That hope always triumphs over experience.
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death.
Robert Fulghum

Dear Editor's;

My brother, Chris Perkins, was killed on the Lion’s Gate Bridge August 8th. He was trying to direct cars around a stalled vehicle that was blocking traffic over the bridge. He was hit by a speeding vehicle from behind, thrown more than 10 feet, and killed instantly. He had just turned 30 years old.

This year, the World Health Organisation (WHO) designated road safety as a global public health issue, stating that road traffic deaths ranked second only to HIV/AIDS in leading causes of death for people aged 15–44. Each year, many more than 1 million people are killed on roads, and 50 million more are injured in some way.

It does seem to be an unavoidable fact that accidents happen, but by their very nature they are almost always preventable. Admittedly, few drivers set out to kill anyone, but this detail rarely eases the pain of the road bereaved.

The reality is that road safety is not an accident. It is up to each one of us to take the actions necessary to limit traffic related injuries and fatalities, regardless of how we are using the roadway.

Slow down. Speed is a factor in many road accidents, and it can turn any situation into a fatal one in just a few seconds.

Look where you're going. When driving, maintain an accurate perception of what is going on around you so you always have time to react appropriately.

Be considerate of other road-users, and try to keep a safe zone in mind when passing an emergency situation on the road. You never know when someone is going to be suddenly in front of you.

And for pedestrians; remember, the only thing that can stop a car is the driver. Be careful of how much trust with which you step out onto a road, you never know when or how that driver might be distracted. Some mistakes can’t be fixed.

My brother was somebody important and, like everyone else, he had dreams and a life to live, a life that ended much too soon. I only had one brother. Please slow down.

Allie Wojtaszek
Edmonton, Alberta

Today, 1978 seems so long ago.

How is it that a life can be reduced to this?

Passenger of broken-down van struck and killed while directing traffic

It's weird when you spend your time reading about other people's misfortunes in the news to suddenly be faced with seeing your own with such candidacy. For everyone looking at this story, that's just a body of someone they didn't know, someone who tried to help, who tried to do what was right as they saw fit, someone they are easily distanced from, or worse yet, even just another headline. It's odd to try to see this from that point of view.

For me, that's my brother under that blanket. His name is Chris Perkins and he turned 30 in July. That's the last image I will ever see of him. Sometimes Life really bites you in the ass. This has been a really bad year for that.

If my head wasn't screwed on...

I am faced with a day of being jabbed by sharp pointy objects intended to drain my crucial body fluids by our trusted health care professionals. I'd rather be at the beach.

Oh yeah, go Wild Fire!

Don't Run. We are your Friends.

Tonight we were treated to a wonderfully roasted dinner at Quynn's house where we also had a treat to celebrate our one month wedding anniversary - we watched both Spaceballs and Mars Attacks! I'd never seen them before and laughed my way through them both.

I have almost finished updating my home page since the last name and marital staus change, including a page for our ceremony and vows as well. Feel free to visit, there's no charge. And (drum roll please) there's more to come!

Happy one month anniversary baby!

Aug. 6, 1945: Birth of the Atomic Age

ter·ror·ism: The use, or threatened use, of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons. The act of terrorizing, or state of being terrorized; a mode of government by terror or intimidation. The calculated use of violence (or threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear [syn: act of terrorism, terrorist act]

The Eternal Question

Why does sex make you so hungry afterwards?

Best. Quote. Ever.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

View my Bushism collection at My Bush is Better Than Your Bush.

Oh yeah, and Duncan sent me this. I just had it on my blog before he did.

Working for the CAUS

Looking good Duncan!

"I fear for your safety before that of all others..."

Duncan and I saw M. Night Shyamalan's newest hit this weekend, The Village. I enjoyed it very much, and remain a loyal student of his artful suspense and story telling. People who see fit to deride this movie have missed it's subtler points.

Set in rural Pennsylvania circa 1897/1997, this is the tale of a small, isolated village menaced by, what would be fairly labelled, the bogey man. At first glance, this tiny village seems near picture perfect, but never forget that Shyamalan is the master of the twist ending, so beware idyllic perchance as he winds through this story. Just don't look so hard for what he is trying to do that you miss it entirely.

Above all, this story is, at all levels, a love story. There is sometimes a fine line between what is love, and what is fear; what is bravery and what is denial. This story is as much as story of boundaries and crossing them as it is the story of the human yearning to secure a safe place in which to prosper.

If your worst fears had painfully come true, how far would you go to protect your family? How much would you sacrifice to make a perfect world beyond the horrors that had ripped your heart open, a place where the only crimes you fear can never occur?

In the search for such a life, driven by the desperate need humans have to protect that which they love at all costs, a small group of resourceful people have based the fabric of their existence upon the very best of intentions. But not all good intentions have the best results, and they soon learn that life remains full of sufferring and pain regardless of what they do to hide from it.

I am a sucker for love and films about it are no exception, especially when the theme is so intricately woven through the plot. This story is dependant on all manners and understandings of love, and as they say... true love is blind.

M. Night Shyamalan has said he always wanted to write the line "the world moves before love and kneels before it in awe" into a movie. And now he has.

The pursuit of pleasure is life itself

HEDONISM: he·don·ism.
Pronunciation: 'hEd-on-iz-om

Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses; the ethical doctrine holding that only what is pleasant or has pleasant consequences is intrinsically good; the doctrine holding that behavior is motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.

A Special Thanks To ME!

I don't think I can get tired of seeing my new name in print!

I had a blast helping my friend Ingrid with her Works Festival Project in Edmonton. Check out her page ... North Saskatchewan River Project: Edmonton

Matter of fact, check out her whole site, her art is as amazing as she is!

Oh, and by the way... could anyone who took some good pictures at our wedding please send them to us?!?! Thanks!

Life is a journey, not a destination...

"One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked.

Where do you want to go? was his response.

I don't know, Alice answered.

Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter."

- Lewis Carroll

Hat tip: Self Made Girl

Must. Learn. Flash.

This Land

Is it Saturday already?

I think I am still on island time... I guess being sick has thrown my sense of time off balance... But then again, time, itself as a concept, is relevant only to the situation at hand.

When we were travelling to Duncan B.C., on our honeymoon, Duncan and I had to laugh when we saw this sign, depicting truly the laid back nature lovingly refered to as "island time."

PSSSST... It's 2004 now....

Words cannot descibe how much of a stupid comment this is.

George W. Bush: I want to be the peace president.

Good job so far.

Nothing is as Nothing does...

Sitting here on my break this afternoon I am reminded of a warm spring afternoon spent in Buddhism class, years ago. Our Professor, Dr. Kawamura, was explaining (with some inner glee, I might add) the concept of 'nothing' to a classroom full of almost entirely western thinking people. Now, for most western brainers, certain Buddhist concepts are hard to relate to, and the idea that nothing exists (or doesnt exist) is no exception. I was enjoying the "discussion" maybe as much as my Prof was, as one of my class mates persisted to argue that "nothing" really did, in fact, exist. "Ofcourse nothing exists," she postulated, "It is right here, everywhere around us. Even nothing is something."

Dr Kawamura smiled sagely until her rant had finished, and then he calmly said, "Well, you had better be careful walking to the door (gesturing widely to the big empty space between her and the door) because you might bump into it."

Hmmm. I wonder if bumping into nothing would hurt. Or not...

Home Again!

 
We don't have the official wedding pictures yet but here is a picture (taken by Duncan's Dad) of Duncan and I at the Alberta Legislature, waiting with our bridal party for Murray (whom married us) so we could finish taking our pictures.  You can't really tell but there was a freezing wind blowing us around at the time of the pic, but it wasn't enough to dampen any spirits!
 
The ceremony was beautiful, the wedding night amazing, and the honeymoon delerious!  I am working on the pictures to publish and, while I make no promises that I could be quoted on in the future, they should be ready soon.  It has been very busy since our return and while we are re-immersed into daily life, it feels like we are still on our honeymoon.  But I guess that's the way it is supoosed to be! 

Where in the World is Duncan and Allie Wojtaszek?

Currently on North Vancouver Island, shortly to be on Cortez, and then Nanaimo, Duncan, Vancouver, Calgary and home.

But there will be an update upon our return - we are just having too much fun right now to blog - but we shall return!!

Happily Ever After

... and they loved happily ever after...

Ever have one of those days?

Independance Day...

If you are going to panic, panic constructively.

My momentary lapses into anxiety seem to be somewhat eleviated by Deven's arrival with his guitar. Dawn arrives here tomorrow. I am getting very excited now, but sometimes I allow myself to muse about how much there may or may not be still to do before the big event. Well, atleast I am finding motivation to finish whatever still needs to be done (there is no fate but that which we make for ourselves), and I am calm enough to have confidence that everything that is important has already been done. But, alas, three days...

"A school is a factory is a poem is a prison is academia is boredom, with flashes of panic."
— Joseph Brodsky

Subliminal Persuasion, or Self Fulfilling Prophecy?

You decide.

Living for the only thing I know

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely and complete
I take your invitation
You take all of me

I'm falling even more in love with you

I love you, Duncan. Only 5 more days to go!

Happy Canada Day, Eh!

He's sweet, like candy to my soul...

Duncan sent me an "Oryx and Crake" e-card this morning. This is what he wrote:

I love you. More than Jim loved Oryx.

I love you too, my sweetheart. You are my everything!

Fish Holocaust!!!

Almost every fish in Raven's tank has mysteriously vacated this world. There is one left. Emergency Rescue is in progress...

Ebb and Flow...

Writ dropped in August for a September election?

Hmmmm. Interesting...

*Allie speculates poignantly*

There is still so much work to do...

Remember folks, you heard this speculation here first.

Seven Days to go...

Almost everything is done now. Soon all I will have left to do is panic ;-)

In the Land of Meaningful Opportunities...

"History and common sense teach us that an unchecked system of detention carries the potential to become a means for oppression and abuse of others" wrote american Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor in a decision that was just one of the high court's first rulings on Bush's terrorism policies; in particular with regards to his assertions of presidential power in order to indefinitely detain prisoners deemed to be enemy combatants.

Making It Count

"... It feels as though people will be voting for the party they dislike the least," said Ottawa computer salesman Mark Harrison as he waited to vote.

Yep. I know how that feels.

Don't forget to vote today, even if you just consider it practise for the real upcoming federal election...

Fahrenheit 9/11

George Bush continues to read "My Pet Goat" to a classroom full of grade two kids after being told of the Sept 11 terrorist attacks. The first plane hit the World Trade Center's north tower at 8:45. The Second plane hit the South tower at 9:03. What is he thinking?
Dude, where's the president?

Brilliant. The theatre was absolutely packed. We clapped afterwards. We talked until 2:00 am, because we had too.

Welcome to Ireland

Ever get the feeling that you
are not welcome?

When to look a gift horse in the mouth...

I can't shake the sense that this may be one of the most important elections I have ever voted in. I just can't clear my head about the field of choice, and the more I consider this election the more concerns I have. Some people are very excited, but the little voice in the back of my mind whispers "be careful what you ask for..."

The Conservative Party is not really what it would have us believe it is. I am old enough to parade Reform Party inflicted scars, old wounds picked open again by the new Alliance Party - and now this trojan horse appears. I can't tell whether I am just naturally skeptical, or deafened by the alarm bells ringing in my head.

I like knowing where I stand. Trust is not something I am comfortable injecting into federal politics, where I appreciate stability to lay, although I am not afraid of a shake up now and then and a political challenge is always welcome. But maybe that's because I live in Canada, where nothing ever bad has really happened politically and our normative lifestyle seems as assured as our sense of security does.

But how easily and how quickly could that reality change?

I don't think I like any of my current choices, especially locally, but federally as well. And when I do, it is short lived, and on second thought I find myself undecided again.

I think I have Voters Block.

Another Meme: Where was I when...?

Ronald Reagan Died

Calgary, Alberta. Duncan, Quynn and I had just arrived at the hotel for the now infamous Game Six of the Stanley Cup Finals. We had read on the internet before we left the White House Statement that he wasn't in good health. I remember thinking if the White House is issuing a statement like that, it's probally game over already.

September 11, 2001 Terrorist Attacks

Canmore, Alberta. Dawn, Wesley, Raven and I were helping a friend clean up her house in Canmore so she could sell it. The kids and I sat down to watch it... we speculated on the consequences and possibilties. I spent many long minutes on the phone with Duncan who was at work in Calgary at the time, and I also spoke on the phone with some people in a New York Call Center who were at work (in tall buildings) and didn't know what had happened yet, or how much had happened. The cracks in my world were immediatley and undeniably visible, and I knew everything had changed.

Princess Diana Died

Calgary, Alberta. The day the music died. I didn't have a TV at the time, so I watched the live coverage late that night with my neighbour Thomas Wharton (yes, the famous Tom Wharton). I knew she was dead before anyone reported it, just knew it in my heart. I phoned my sister in England that night, who was still asleep, and I remember her first words were "Oh my god, they killed her."

OJ was Acquitted

Nanaimo, British Columbia. Not guilty my Ass. That trial was a mockery and I refused to watch it on TV.

Curt Kobain died

Nanaimo, British Columbia. I was at work with my young son at the Army Base. I was not entertained.

The Persian Gulf War

Nanaimo, British Columbia. I was at work at the Nanaimo Battle School. I had predicted this was coming and was watching events unfold closely. When I was called to say that my office had recieved a "Secret" memo (which had to be guarded, in a locked safe) I knew shit was going to fly.

Gretzky traded to the Kings

Nanaimo, British Columbia. The King is Dead. Long live the King. It was the beginning of the end, as I saw it. I was 16, and my heart broke. I was angry for years at Gretzky and Sather; perhaps I still would be if maturity hadn't mellowed the edge.

The Challenger Exploded

Nanaimo, British Columbia. A budding astronaut wanna be, I was at school, in Grade 8 Science Class. The teacher said the Space Shuttle had just exploded and everyone was dead. I thought it was a joke, but then they got a TV in the classroom and we watched it as it happened, live. I was devastated, really my first experience of mourning shared by the world. I named all of my gerbils after the seven Astronauts.

Reagan was Shot

Nanaimo, British Columbia. I was only 8 years old, Reagan was really the first President I cared about. I remember watching it on the news with my Dad. This is my first real recollection of a news story that had any impact on me - I was totally fascinated. I had just watched all the election excitement while they elected a president, I had no real concept they might shoot him! "Bang, bang, bang, bang." That's what I remember. My first shooting (I think).

Lennon was shot

Nanaimo, British Columbia. Nothing to kill or die for... I was pretty young, and his death would have a greater impact on me in later years.

Mt St Helens Exploded

Nanaimo, British Columbia. I was outside playing in the front yard when I heard a huge explosion far off in the distance (which I thought must be more of the construction that had been going on). The next thing I knew, the earth moved so violently that I was thrown forward to the ground. The earthquake didn't last long, but the "big" boys who lived next door ran from their tent in their underwear screaming "Mommy" even though I was there to see it. I remember at school during the next week huge flakes of ash falling from a clear sky, like snow...

Munich Olympic Hostage Crisis

Burnaby, British Columbia. I was barely born, but I do have a memory (seen at some point of time in my early childhood I imagine) of the helicopter exploding. Welcome to my world.

Paul Henderson's Goal

Vancouver, British Columbia. I was present in the room at the time that the game was played, even if I was too young to realize how much of an impact hockey would have on my life. Maybe that moment helped define my absolute love of Hockey.

Hat tip: Jon and Rea in Calgary.

With every great love comes a great story...

The NOTEBOOK

A beautiful telling of the most important experience of our lives; all those who are lucky enough to have ever fallen in love will recognize these tender moments of deep truth with fondness and levity of spirit - the feelings this movie evokes touches the heart in a most gentle, yet integral, way.

This is one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen - and the best this year. So many of it's key elements speak to my soul and the experiences I have had over this lifetime - learning the difference between loving and being in love with someone, loving someone with all of yourself and the satisfaction that brings to an existence, the patience and wisdom that comes from making difficult choices in love, the romance of dreaming a life with your best friend, and the tragedy of sharing some one you love with dementia. It's all there, it's all real, and it's all true.

Duncan and I saw this movie in previews a while back, and I just finished reading the book. When we left the theatre, almost everyone was crying, but it wasn't a sad story, it was just that touching. I recommend it to everyone. Go and see it - for it is the story of life, what is important in life and how we remember how and who we love.

Still our Hero...

Remember the wedding invitation we sent a while back to the Stanley Cup, care of Captain Jarome Iginla?

I found this in the mail box today.

Along with this note...

We are saddenned too by the summer's lack of the Cup, but they are all still our hero's! Go Flames Go!

Talking Heads and the Human Cost of War

"I think that some heads should roll over Iraq"
- retired General Anthony Zinni

Apparently, people agree. And heads seem to be rolling.

Long before I myself had actually seen a human head severed from it's body (I saw a man decapitated in a motorcycle accident when I was 14) my imagination regarding the condition we refer to as "decapitation" was informed mostly by my father's own illustrations: his early memories, that he would relate to me in story form, whenever he would get it in his head to talk about 'the war'. Being a typical 5 year old in London during the now infamous Battle of Britain (July through October 1940), my father had many images burned forever into his formative memory. The one visual that keeps replaying in my head lately is the story of his neighbour, or perhaps I should say, his neighbours head.

After a particularly bad aerial fight and a spat of bombing, my Dad had ventured out of the shelter to survey the damage, and see if any help was needed. Thats when he saw it, his neighbour's head, rolling down the gutter towards him. The head was rolling.

The more I think about it I realize that my Dad's story may even have contributed to that nasty dream I had in Grade two, where I was at school naked, and then (as if matters couldn't get worse) my head fell off and I had to chase it as it rolled down the hallway...

And why are these things rolling around in my head?

Beheadings are rapidly becoming such common place news from the Middle East I fear losing count. How many people have lost their heads in the modern and televised spectacle of medieval origins? And if one is violently seperated from their head against one's will, is it fair to refer to it as "losing their head"?

Daniel Pearl. Nicholas Berg. Robert Jacobs. Paul Johnson Jr. Kim Sun-il. I don't see an end in sight...

Oh yeah, and I found this today... didn't I say all of this?

Pre Wedding Stress?

Who would have thought that a Marriage Licence would cost 70.00? That renting chairs could be so painfull and difficult? That the dressmaker might have forgotten my maid of honors dress? That all my measurements remained the same from my last fitting, except my boobs, which somehow grew? That my maid of honors plane ticket might be screwed up?

We are coming down to the wire... I am mostly very excited, and geniunely happy, and ever body remarks about how calm we seem, especially so close to the wedding. But thats only because, as well adjusted intelligent, mature adults, we have perfected our coping skills and created a wonderful support network of amazing friends (thanks everyone).

Allie's 8 Ways To Reduce Pre-Wedding Stress

8. Walk. Round the block, up the street, wherever. (Ride bike, rollerblade, run)

7. Breathe.

6. Drink water.

5. Laugh and sing.

4. Stretch your muscles out.

3. Nice hot bath. With candles.

2. Wine. Butterscotch Ripple Schnapps. Chocolate.

1. Sex. Remember you are in love!

For adults only; my few moments of fame...

My Boobies have achieved Google Fame. My Boobs too!

But Google has always liked me...

Midnight Romance

Ahhh... what else are gardens and summers for?

I want to plant flowers today...

We were actually on our way to the mall... sidetracked by the neighbours moving out sale... and now our household has a surplus (like we didn't before) of computer components.

I guess I can't blame Duncan since he found a Pentium 2 laptop for 25.00. And then the other computer was only 25.00, with the 10.00 printer thrown in... and there are now cables everywhere.

But I still want to go get my flowers. I'm gonna call Quynn.

Lifetimes

Well, like everything else that is alive,
people have lifetimes, too.
They live for about 60 or 70 years,
sometimes even longer, doing all the things
that people do like growing up and being grown up.

It can happen, though, just as it does with
all other living things, that people
become ill or they get hurt.
Mostly, ofcourse, they get better again
but there are times when they are so badly
hurt or ill that they die
because they can longer stay alive.
It may be sad, but that is how it is
for people. It is the way they live
and it is their lifetime.

So, no matter how long they are,
or how short, lifetimes are really
all the same.
They have beginings, and endings,
and there is living in between.

That is how things are.

- excerpted from
LIFETIMES: The beautiful way to explain death to children

Take your time, leave mine alone...

(EDIT)So we went to Calgary, partially for business (Duncan was presenting to the U of C Student Council, and we attended the Calgary West federal election forum while supporting CASA, CAUS, the SU and Rob South, and he picked up his divorce certificate from the court so we can now get a marriage licence) and partially for my Dad's funeral.

It was good at the University - I appear to be a bit of a celebrity at this time. I sopose you can guess why...

Also, I have a message for Calgary West:

PLEASE, anyone but Rob Anders.
May I suggest Justin Thompson?
(Thats for my good friend Rob South)

Life is suffering...

...give me the calmness
to accept the things
that I can not change
and the courage
to change the things
that I can change
and the wisdom
to distinguish one from the other

Buddha taught us that the First Noble Truth of Dukkha is "Life is suffering." Not just physical suffering, but also emotional and psychological suffering. Dissatisfaction, disappointment, even love itself, causes us to suffer throughout our days.

Birth; decay; illness; death; hate; separation; love; happiness; loneliness; frustration; fear; embarrassment; worry; guilt; disappointment; anger; revenge; clinging to our existence... all is suffering.

This is the truth of life - life includes pain. Pain is not a unique experience; that we all feel pain is part of our shared human experience, an irrefutable fact that cannot be denied, no matter how hard one might try. Beyond our ordinary ideas regarding the importance of avoiding our neverless inevitable pains, the real uniqueness lies within how each human individually deals with, and learns from, their pain. It is the suffering that is optional. We all chose how to react and respond to our life experiences. Some choose to get lost in their misery and paranoia... stop clinging - free yourself.

Wisdom teaches us that we don't have the means neccessary to change those around us, or to even judge whom needs to be changed, it is a wasted effort. If we are lucky enough, we just might learn how to change ourselves, and perhaps in doing so affect so positive change in our world as a result.

Soak up life. Meet adversity and challenges head on. Take risks, take your chances. Learn from the pain that develops our character as we mature. Reconcile your problems within yourself so that they no longer exist for you as problems. Grow stronger. Remember, there is peace in acceptance.

In acceptance, one accepts.

"Now watch this drive."

About to be released in Canada, Fahrenheit 9/11 is ready to make some waves. Check out the trailer!

I am very excited!

Three and one half years

Happy Anniversary Baby

We’re Still Number One – A Tribute to the Calgary Flames

Wow. Thanks for the Memories!

Team achievements; winning, battling, and sometimes losing, but definitely exceeding our expectations and igniting our fondest dreams. Feelings; happiness, anxiety, astonishment, excitement, inspiration, heart-stopping hockey-crazy madness. Memorabilia; jerseys, t-shirts, car flags, green hardhats, stickers, signs, flags, a Sea of Red known affectionately as the Red Mile - expanding it’s volume with each game – swelling with belief as a city united. And Pride. And awe. And great hockey – some of the best I have ever seen.

In the quest for the Holy Grail, the adventure has tantalized and brought out the truest of fans in each of us, even those that were not previously fans. Even brought Canadians together in the hopes of cheering the cup's return to Canada.

Game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals, down by only one goal, isn’t the best possible finish to the series, and maybe some would effectively argue that there really isn’t a “good” way to lose the Stanley Cup, but it is an honorable finish. It was a great run, a terrific fight, and the Calgary Flames have nothing to be ashamed of. They are still heroes in our eyes. Still number one. Still our team.

I wish, and I know Duncan feels the same way, that I could have been one of the 400 fans that greeted the team at the airport coming home. If only just to show our appreciation for all their efforts this post season, but mostly to show we still care, still support them. Still believe. Still love them.

Calgary is planning downtown rally this Wednesday (Olympic Plaza) in honor of our beloved team – our team that defeated three division champions (Vancouver, Detroit and San Jose) to bring us to the Stanley Cup Finals. I am sad that I likely won’t be able to be there to cheer them, so please, everyone that goes, cheer some for me too. Cheer a whole big bunch, because they deserve it.

GO FLAMES GO!

It really was an awesome Play Off run

I didn't really know what to post but I couldn't pass up sharing what I found on Rea's Blog:

Jon: Can we go to bed now?
Rea: I'm waiting for Allie to post...
Jon: She's probably crying.

I bet she's not alone!

Hmmmm. Yes, I did cry. Duncan held on to me in our shared anguish as I watched in somewhat numb disbelief the Stanley Cup get handed to Tampa Bay. There are too many emotions to really do it complete justice right now - but I am proud of the Flames, it doesn't get much better or closer than that. Now for next year!

You can also visit Rea's Tribute to my "fame & feminism" in her "Allie is a C-Cup Winner" post.

Hmmm Rea... does the C stand for Calgary? Cause really, it should be a D for Duncan!

THE RED MILE: a photo essay

Dare to Dream Calgary, Dare to Dream.

When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you



When I go out, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you



If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you



But I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door



When I come home, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you



And if I grow old, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you



When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you



And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna Dream about the time when I'm with you

Hat Tip: I'm Gonna Be: The Proclaimers