Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Spousal Support or an Excuse to Remain Dependant Forever?

There was a story today in the news that disturbs me.

When my first husband left, he left me with all the bills (mysteriously all in my name), old debts, back rent and daycare to pay. One of my proudest moments was when I had, while still going to school, finally paid off all of the bills. There was no whining. I didn't mooch, or leech or beg him to support me. I had pride that I did it all myself. With three jobs to manage the rent and bills I provided well enough for my children (at the time my ex paid only 200.00 a month for child support) and was able to increase our standard of living, even managing to save a little in the process. The most important thing was that no one else could take any credit for my hard won successes.

So this idea that people (mostly women) can/should continue to pursue their ex-spouses as a lifetime method of funding appalls me. What is this saying about us? That we can't let go, can't do it on our own, can't survive without someone there to support us? How can a woman acheive financial freedom when all she is doing is looking towards another person everytime they think they need money? There are other sources of money available people! Set yourself apart; get a job or go back to school. Don't allow yourself to be defined by leechdom, your independance and pride in yourself is what is at risk here. I know it might seem daunting (and yes, it is hard) but in the end it is very much worth it. Especially when you are reaching your goals and your acheivements are your very own. Why would you let anyone else (especially an ex-spouse) take credit for that?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

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