Why put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow??

A good friend (thank you Kristen!) sent me this in an email a while back, and I kept it with the full intention of adapting it slightly for sharing on my blog. A brief internet search turns up quite a few pages with this post, but I have otherwise been unable to locate the original source.

After every flight, Pilots complete what’s known as a "gripe sheet"; the purpose of this “report” is to convey to the ground mechanics any problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair and/or correction. After the Pilot records the original problem the mechanic reads it and does whatever is required to correct the problem. The lower half of the form records what remedial action was taken, so that the Pilots can review the "gripe sheet" again, before their next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.

Here, reportedly, are some "actual" logged maintenance complaints/problems as submitted by QUANTAS pilots, and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. It has been suggested that QUANTAS is the only major airline that has never had an accident, but I was unable to find their safety records or claims on their website. Regardless, please enjoy!

Key: P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland is not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more "believable" level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.