Can you study for a urine test?

I am trying to write my article for the paper. My deadline is already past, the paper goes to print tonight. I just got the material about an hour ago, and I despair. Problem is, I am soposed to be funny, but none of the material is funny. Actually, most of it's lame, the best stuff is a couple of potheads and a guy masturbating and thats all I have to work with. Inspiration, come to me.

Here's a Pot Head joke I just found on the internet:

A stoner called the fire department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, in a big red truck!"

Sigh.