Joe's Schiavo confession

Joe Scarborough on Joe's Real Deal
 

Congressman Joe Scarborough: As you may know, I have spent the last week on my TV and radio show fighting to save the life of Terri Schiavo. Like many opinion givers, lawmakers, and American citizens, I am shocked and saddened by the forced starvation of a young, helpless woman who is being sentence to death simply because she cannot feed herself. Applying this standard, infants, Alzheimers patients, the elderly and infirmed would face a court ordered death (click to watch video).

Via: MSNBC and Jackson's Junction

Water is life

A 10 yr old boy arrested for bringing Terri some water  

Carla Sauer Iyer speaks out about Terri

In a "Fox News Exclusive" Carla Sauer Iyer broke a gag order today to talk publicaly about Michael Schiavo's treatment of Terri Schiavo that she witnessed during the time she worked as Terri's caregiver. Here's a link to the video:

"I want the public to know the truth"

Update 1: Interview with Nurse Heidi Law

Hat tip: Blogs For Terri and Jackson's Junction

Last minute hopefuls

I just read this on Blogs for Terri (but haven't yet found another source):

The Governor of Florida, Jeb Bush, just completed a press conference with Tampa Bay media. He says that the Department of Children and Families, through Adult Protective Services are conducting an investigation of abuse against Terri Schiavo. As part of that, a neurologist by the name of Dr. Cheshire, observed Terri, lengthy videos of her and her case record. He has concluded that she is not in a persistent vegetative state. Rather, he felt she was minimally conscious if not functioning higher.

There is apparently a 3:45PM hearing today on this matter. More as it develops...

What if you were Terri? 

UPDATE 1: The story is being carried by the Miami Herald (subscription).

"State officials said they might attempt to place the brain-damaged woman under protective custody so her feeding tube can be reinserted. As a possible precursor of that event, they filed a new motion in state court in Tampa... Lt. Gov. Toni Jennings and the director of the state social services agency confirmed they were considering an intervention in the controversial and increasingly tangled case - based on calls alleging that Schiavo is being abused in her hospice... Lucy Hadi, secretary of the Department of Children and Families, said the state investigation into potential abuse is ongoing and the state is required by law to file a petition to bring Schiavo into state care if an emergency exists. The state does not have to wait for a court to act, she said."

UPDATE 2: Judge Greer Denies DCF Petition - the Department of Children and Families asked for access to Terri Schiavo's sealed medical records to begin a protective investigation. Greer also issued an emergency restraining order to block the DCF from Terri and to prevent Schiavo from being removed from her hospice.

Five full days without Food and Water

A three judge panel of the 11th Circuit (federal) Court of Appeals has ruled 2-1 not to order the reinsertion of Terri Schiavo's feeding tube.

It doesn't look like there's going to be a happy ending for this story.

Once in a lullaby...  

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

Maybe there is some hope to be found on the 11th Circuit afterall

I was just reading an article by Andrew C. McCarthy (a senior fellow at the Foundation for the Defense of Democracies) entitled Ducking Tough Questions. I have reprinted the first part of the article and you can follow the link at the bottom to read the rest:

Is Terri Schiavo a PVS case? That is the core of the wrenching dispute that has gripped the nation. That is the question that impelled the extraordinary intervention of Congress and the president over the weekend. And that is the question that U.S. District Judge James D. Whittemore refused to entertain in rejecting, early Tuesday morning, a request to reinsert Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube. Thus, her excruciating march to death by starvation and dehydration continues.

In 1990, in a case called Cruzan v. Missouri, the U.S. Supreme Court assumed that a competent person would have a constitutionally protected right to refuse lifesaving hydration and nutrition, and held that where a person (a) was actually in a persistent vegetative state (PVS) and (b) had actually evinced a desire not to be sustained in that state (i.e., a desire to die rather than be kept alive), the state was permitted — but not required — to allow her surrogates to discontinue sustenance.

Cruzan is distinguishable from Terri Schiavo’s case in that there is powerful reason to doubt that Terri is in a PVS. There was no such reason given the condition of the woman in Cruzan — the opinion indicates that from three weeks of coma she never progressed beyond an unconscious state, in which she was perhaps responsive to some painful stimuli but to nothing else. There was thus reason to doubt she would even appreciate the immense discomfort of starvation/dehydration. Cruzan is also distinguishable in that the evidence that Terri has evinced an informed and intelligent wish to die is even more suspect than the concededly thin evidence that supported this finding in Cruzan.

But, of course, Terri’s case is not distinguishable unless the federal court is open to a full reconsideration of the factual determinations made by the Florida courts that Terri is in a PVS and that she asserted an informed desire to die. This is where the bill passed by Congress comes in. In pertinent part, it says:

The United States District Court for the Middle District of Florida shall have jurisdiction to hear, determine, and render judgment on a suit or claim by or on behalf of Theresa Marie Schiavo for the alleged violation of any right of Theresa Marie Schiavo under the Constitution or laws of the United States relating to the withholding or withdrawal of food, fluids, or medical treatment necessary to sustain her life.

[T]he District Court shall determine de novo any claim of a violation of any right of Theresa Marie Schiavo within the scope of this Act, notwithstanding any prior State court determination and regardless of whether such a claim has previously been raised, considered, or decided in State court proceedings. The District Court shall entertain and determine the suit without any delay or abstention in favor of State court proceedings, and regardless of whether remedies available in the State courts have been exhausted. [Italics mine.]

There are at least two ways to read this law. The first — and the one that I believe the plain language indicates Congress intended — is that there should be a complete, plenary, exhaustive review on a clean slate — ignoring all prior rulings and factual determinations made by the courts of Florida. This is not a limitless grant of authority. The federal court cannot grant relief unless it can be shown that some federal right of Terri’s was violated. But, the federal court is not bound to accept as fact — and, indeed, should not accept as fact — any factual conclusion drawn by Judge Greer and the rest of the courts of Florida. In other words: Fully develop the facts and then determine if federal law has been transgressed.

Continue reading Ducking Tough Questions

Not so happy easter thoughts

"I am innocent of the blood of this righteous person. You see to it."
- Matthew 27:24

Euthanasia by Omission

Federal U.S. District Judge James Whittemore has denied the request that Terri Schiavo's feeding tube be re-inserted.

Terri's Mom and Dad wait in court 

In his 13 page ruling Whittmore wrote "This court concludes that Theresa Schiavo's life and liberty interests were adequately protected by the extensive process provided in the state courts" and that as he was bound by the constraints of the law and as he didn't see a "substantial likelihood" that the Schindler's case would succeed, her feeding was not to be resumed.

This means that Terri's case will not be heard in Federal Court. It also means she will die. I imagine there will be an appeal, but I am not hopeful.

The moral and ethical challenge of Terri Schiavo

No matter what side of this opinion war you are one, anybody who has taken the time to thouroughly explore the issues of the Schiavo case struggle with the conflictions that arise because the details challenge our specific definitions and notions of quality of life.

Schiavo is disabled. Every day she wakes up, moves around and communicates the best that she can. She breathes on her own, her heart beats on it's own, her brain functions on it's own. Like our children, and our sick and elderly, all she needs to live is to be fed. So we feed her. Or, in some cases, we don't.

Even though she can swallow (she swallows her own saliva) her "husband" has decreed that she is not to recieve rehabilition or any foods by mouth, so the staff where she lives are forced to use a tube when it is time to give her food. This tube is at the centre of the controversy surrounding her impending death.

We are not feeding her. That's it - there aren't any "plugs" to pull - we just aren't feeding her.

Sometimes as able minded and bodied people we tend to judge quality of life too harshly, without any consideration for other ways of living. My own father would have turned up his nose at the thought of living dependantly, and yet when a stroke changed his reality his life became more precious to him than before it had been threatened. His cognitive abilities and memories were greatly disabled, and yet he was happy, every day that he woke up, just to enjoy his life. At the end of his life, when his final stroke took away all his ability to move and he could only communicate with grunts, his desire to live was still very apparent in his eyes.

I hold my breath today with the news that the President has signed the bill because Schiavo's fate still remains in the hands of a court and her feeding has yet to be resumed. Also, I feel certain that as soon as it is resumed she will again have to face yet another challenge to her right for food, and that's a tiring thought.

This really is one of the most extraordinary legal and political fights ever, but I can't help but think it is also one of the most important. Our definitions are a little mixed up and we need them to be clarified. This isn't about letting a brain dead person die, it's about killing a disabled person by denying them the most basic human rights - food and water. And it's not just about Terri, it's about all of us, because one day this could be us too.

I think, therefore I am

Here's a link to the video of Terri and her Dad that is still running. He is telling a funny story from her childhood that makes her laugh.

It's Palm Sunday

Terri Schiavo is starving to death.

"I want to live"

I have blogged before about the testimonies of Barbara Weller (attorney with the Gibbs Law Firm in Florida) regarding her visits with Terri Schiavo, but I found this account on Blogs for Terri of her last visit with her (Friday, March 18) and I wanted to share:

"The most dramatic event of this visit happened at one point when I was sitting on Terri’s bed next to Suzanne. Terri was sitting in her lounge chair and her aunt was standing at the foot of the chair. I stood up and leaned over Terri. I took her arms in both of my hands. I said to her, "Terri if you could only say ‘I want to live’ this whole thing could be over today." To my enormous shock and surprise, Terri’s eyes opened wide, she looked me square in the face, and with a look of great concentration, she said, "Ahhhhhhh." Then, seeming to summon up all the strength she had, she virtually screamed, "Waaaaaaaa." She yelled so loudly that Michael Vitadamo, Suzanne’s husband, and the female police officer who were then standing together outside Terri’s door, clearly heard her. At that point, Terri had a look of anguish on her face that I had never seen before and she seemed to be struggling hard, but was unable to complete the sentence. She became very frustrated and began to cry. I was horrified that I was obviously causing Terri so much anguish. Suzanne and I began to stroke Terri’s face and hair to comfort her. I told Terri I was very sorry. It had not been my intention to upset her so much. Suzanne and I assured Terri that her efforts were much appreciated and that she did not need to try to say anything more. I promised Terri I would tell the world that she had tried to say, "I want to live."

You can read the whole statement at Empire Journal.

She wants to live. Everything inside of me is screaming with this. She wants to live. SHE WANTS TO LIVE! Why can't people hear her?

Catch your dreams before they slip away...

Today I made breakfast for my family (delicious Omega 3 eggs on toast) and then we went door to door with Raven's Girl Guide Company collecting food for the food bank, to help feed hungry people here in Edmonton. In a few minutes I am taking my husband out for coffee and I am going to have a Moccaccino. No doubt tonight we will have something fabulous like baked salmon with lemon dill sauce and brocolli.

My mouth waters just thinking about it.

Terri's supporters 

It has been a whole day and more since Terri Schiavo has been given any food. I can't stop thinking about her, waiting. I imagine she knows what is going on to some degree - we know from avadavits in 2002 that Terri is aware enough of her own mortality to be scared at the prospect of losing her life.

In the incident I am referring to, a counsellor from the Galaxy Wave Group (a therapeutic company on the cutting edge of medical technology) was talking to Schiavo on a cellphone (as they often did) when the counsellor said to her "If you don't get up and get out of there, you're going to die there." In an avadavit he said "I explained in detail that they would remove the single tube that was providing her nutrition and she would slowly die of starvation."

Upon being told she might be killed, Schiavo sat bolt upright and tried to get out of her chair. Her father reports that she became "teary eyed."

It's an old article (2003) but it raises some interesting points about the motivations of George Felos (a sensational right to die activist/lawyer).

I know I for one am questioning the motives of people involved in this case.

Terri isn't the only one in pain

"In that building behind me my daughter is starving to death... We laugh together. We cry together. We smile together. We talk together...
Please, please, please, save my little girl."
- Mary Schindler, Terri Schiavo's mother, moments ago.

Show time, Show down

He that hath ears to hear, let him hear
(Gospel of Luke 8:8)  

Congress has issued Terri Schiavo with a subpoena ordering her to testify at an official committee meeting of The Senate Health Committee on March 28 2005. House Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn) noted that it is a federal crime to harm or obstruct a person called to testify before Congress, including (one assumes) denying them food and water.

Coming Soon: www.impeachgreer.com

UPDATE 1: Pinellas Circuit Court Judge David Demers ordered that Schiavo's feeding tube will remain in place past the 1:00PM EST deadline.

UPDATE 2: Circuit Court Judge George Greer has reissued his previous order allowing Schiavo's estranged husband to remove her feeding tube. Greer said he saw "no reason not to move ahead with his previous order removing the gastric tube" and that "it could be removed at once."

UPDATE 3: Schiavo's nutrition and hydration are now being withheld from her. As her family was ordered to leave her room during this process it remains unclear if the port that accommodates her feeding tube has been surgically removed as well.

Join the fight - Don't let them kill Terri...

"How can we speak of right and justice if we take an innocent creature and shed its blood? How can we pray to God for mercy if we ourselves have no mercy?"
- Isaac Bashevis Singer


http://www.terrisfight.org
 

Tomorrow at 1:00PM EST Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube is scheduled to be removed by court order.

To inflict death on an incapacitated person, someone who is as innocent as she is defenseless, is as wrong as any other type of murder, perhaps even more so. Further, to cause that death by starvation and dehydration is plainly inhumane.

Schiavo is not a terminal patient and is not in any sort of imminent health crisis. She is not in a coma - she is partially paralyzed due to brain dysfunction. She is not on life support but uses a feeding tube (only) at meal times to get sustenance; some doctors have suggested she could probably swallow foods with the consistency of baby food with minor amounts of rehabilitation.

She experiences pain and discomfort just like you and I.

Good evidence exists to suggest that Schiavo is responsive, and is as responsive as many other mentally and physically challenged people in our world. She controls her eye movements and watches people as they move around her. She listens to music, responds to her mother’s love, laughs, makes happy sounds, cries and tries to speak. She follows doctor’s and nurses directions and commands, including moving her limbs slightly.

Watch this video of Schiavo and her father.

Not only does she laugh at a funny story from her childhood, she obviously REMEMBERS it.

She is alive. Her life is valuable, and once ended it can never be given back. No one should have the right to take that away from her.

What does Starving to death look like anyways?

Starved bodies ache all the time as muscles cramp and deteriorate, the mouth dries and bleeds as the tongue cracks, the nosebleeds, teeth become elongated as the gums recede, the heart flutters and beats hard and painfully, blood vessels in the eyes rupture causing blindness, the kidneys and liver are progressively damaged, seizures accompany heaving as the body attempts to vomit, hair falls out, the patient starts to smell with a rotting odour, endures ravenous hunger pains and extreme thirst, hallucinations, confusion, anger and fear, until finally a death like coma silences the final hours (or days) before death.

We know scientifically what the symptoms and results of starvation are, but what does it feel like?

Kate Adamson was totally paralyzed after a double brainstem stroke in 1995. In a state even worse than Schiavo’s, she could both feel and think – and remembers everything that happened to her since the brain injury. Adamson’s feeding tube was removed by doctors for eight days before her husband was able to have it restored through legal intervention. Adamson eventually recovered her PVS like state and is now testifying to members of the Florida Senate about her experiences in the hopes that she can help save Schiavo:

"I was just like Terri... I was alive! I could hear every word - I suffered excruciating misery in silence. When the feeding tube was turned off for eight days, I thought I was going insane. I was screaming out in my mind, "Don't you know I need to eat?" The fact that I had nothing, the hunger pains overrode every thought I had. The agony of going without food was a constant pain that lasted days. You have to endure the physical pain and on top of that you have to endure the emotional pain. Your whole body cries out, "Feed me. I am alive and a person, don't let me die, for God's Sake! Somebody feed me."

We have voices for a reason, and if we can't (or won't) speak out for those who can't speak for themselves, what is the point? I am not in a position to influence this outcome legally but I know a good number of my readers are american:

Florida Senate
Florida House
US House of Representatives
US Congress

Understatement of the week

World reacts to Wolfowitz nomination with skepticism and alarm:

JOCELYN GECKER, PARIS (AP) - "The nomination of hawkish U.S. Deputy Defence Secretary Paul Wolfowitz to lead the World Bank has sparked reactions ranging from official reserve to skepticism and outright denunciation."

No Shit, eh?

Via CBC

What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?

Hey - how'd he get that tall?!?!  

So the past week of life has been consumed with the search for the "ultimate" junior high school. Wesley is strong academically and thus has many options to choose from... I narrowed the list down to 5 schools, each school with a unique program offering and particular claim to fame. All need applications, and some need testing, interviews, reference letters and uniforms.

After much touring Wesley has shortlisted three programs: Late French Immersion at Ecole Laurier Heights; Canadian Military Studies at L'Académie Vimy Ridge Academy (uniformed); and the International Baccalaureate Middle Years Program at Westminister Junior High School.

So far though, the decision hasn't been made any easier by narrowing the field - actually it seems to have increased the level of anxiety I feel about it. I realize that he would do well at any school, and that none of them would be even close to a mistake if chosen. Yet still I feel somewhat caught in my own personal paradox; and there really isn't one right answer for the question - either all or none are valid.

And when on earth did I have an "almost teen-aged" son?

I'm getting old...

Terri Schiavo deserves to die on her own schedule

Barbara Weller, one of Terri Schiavo's family attorneys, wrote an account of meeting Terri in December 2004. Weller witnessed that Schiavo looked at people, smiled and used words like "uh uh." She further writes:

"When her mother was close to her, Terri's whole face lit up. She smiled. She looked directly at her mother and made all sorts of happy sounds. When her mother talked to her, Terri was quiet and obviously listening."

Terri is faced once again with a legal order to remove her feeding tube, which would deny her nutrition/hydration and eventually (after 2 weeks) lead to her death by starvation. You can't even starve to death an animal.

The final measure of humanity is how humanely people treat one another.

Go Incapacitated Persons Legal Protection Act.

How we say Goodbye

Constable Anthony Gordon
Constable Lionide Johnston
Constable Brock Myrol
Constable Peter Schiemann

The Stetson's final ceremony 

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends"
- John 15:13

"These men so cared about the public good that they were willing to die to serve it."
- Gov. Gen. Adrienne Clarkson

"With their loss, there is a singular intensity to our mourning – those who have fallen have done so selflessly; those who have fallen have done so in service to a nation, to an ideal;
they have fallen in service to us."
- Prime Minister Paul Martin

"These are the spirits of four remarkable men, whose courage teaches us that keeping communities safe is often an act of unbelievable personal bravery, and of extraordinary generosity."
- Premier Ralph Klein

RCMP Parade to the U of A 

"Together, we combine effort, commitment, hearts and lives to achieve an ideal shared by every Canadian: That we can live in a world without fear; Where the weak are protected; And where all are safe. Leo, Tony, Brock and Peter knew this.
They chose to stand with us at the front of the line - in that place that marks the difference between right and wrong, between good and evil."
- Commissioner Giuliano Zaccardelli

"My brother, my best friend and the most important person in my life."
- Const. Lee Johnston, twin brother of Const. Leo Johnston

"Such are the risks we take."
– Bill Sweeney, Alberta RCMP assistant commissioner

"His last act was the ultimate act of bravery. He jumped the bar, and we are so proud."
- Pastor Art Hundeby, of Brock Myrol always setting the bar higher for himself

The Painful Truth

"The case of friendly fire is certainly the hardest to endure. There is a sense of injustice"
- Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi

Today is my Birthday!

Aging to Perfection 

Red Deer Today

We were in Red Deer today for a PC Party "Revitalization" meeting aimed at the youth of the party... well, my invitation said everyone under 35 was a youth so ofcourse I was going to go - how often is it that you are given back your youth? (Our party's definition of youth typically ends at 25).

It was... interesting. I did take the camera, but we left it in the car, which was too bad because almost everybody was there. It was good to see everyone again and reconnect before the party AGM this April. The AGM is going to be different this year - it's an integral time in our party, not always exciting, but I am happy to be engaged and participating.

Unanswered questions

According to a statement from the american military their soldiers killed one civilian and wounded two others when a vehicle traveling at "high speeds" refused to stop at a check point. They apparently even used hand and arm signals, flashing white lights, and firing warning shots to try to get the car to stop.

However, Giuliana Sgrena has testified that the car wasn’t speeding, that it was actually traveling at "regular speed" and that there was "no bright light, no signal, and at a certain point, from one side, a firestorm erupted." She further described the firestorm as as a "rain of fire."

Meanwhile Sgrena's boyfriend, Pier Scolari, has voiced some serious concerns about the incident, saying he believes Sgrena knows something the americans did not want to become public. "Either it was an ambush, as I believe, because Giuliana had some information... or we are at the mercy of idiots, frightened boys who shoot at anyone they come across," the Italian news agency AGI reported.

I think they shoot at anyone they come across, quite frankly. Anything else would be allowing them too much credit.

american troops shoot newly freed hostage...

Italian journalist Giuliana Sgrena was released today from her month long hostage ordeal in Iraq. But don't get too excited... american troops opened fire on the vehicle she was travelling in, a car full of Italian secret service agents who had been instrumental in negotiating for her release.

An officer was killed when he threw his body over Sgrena's to protect her from their aggressors; she herself escaped with a gunshot wound to her shoulder.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi demands an explanation for the attack, but we all know he won't get one. As my initial shock at this wears off, I realize that I am not surprised. Incidences like this have become so commonplace that hearing "american troops" have shot another innocent person or persons just further dulls already numbed feelings: the irony; the injustice; the ignorance; the complete lack of respect for life; for law; it's all there in a special kind of anger that no one can do anything about.

If you are going to carry a gun, know what you are shooting at before you fire.

The american's are notoriously renowned for their "accidents of poor judgement." They have a myriad of excuses they use to justify their mistakes, but none of them make any of their victims feel better. Back in basic training I remember many tounge in cheek comments about shooting them on the battlefield before they could get you (or your allies) killed. It wasn't just a joke, it was a warning to watch out for them because they couldn't be trusted.

In the end, what it simply boils down to is just this:

Friendly fire ain't... and it's bullshit.

If money could really buy happiness...

What would you buy?

An investment firm and a sports advisory company (Boston based companies Bain Capital Partners LLC and Game Plan LLC) yesterday made a joint offer to buy the National Hockey League and all 30 of its teams (estimating each team at $117 million) for more than three and a half billion dollars in an all or nothing deal.

Bain and Game Plan said they believe the sale would bolster the league's revenue because all the teams would "work together to generate more local television coverage, sponsorship and revenue" instead of competing against one another for resources. They have also arranged for a yet unnamed Canadian financier to join the consortium.

I know I believe the NHL needs a major overhaul but I'll admit I am skeptical about hockey being owned by corporate america.

The next morning...

... always seems to come a little too soon! But it is a beautiful day and I am happy to be awake for it. Yesterday was great, I thouroughly enjoyed the reception after the Throne Speech, and the good times continued (in more ways than one) to Earls afterwards. Duncan was/is the happiest man in Alberta. The only thing that could have made yesterday better was if Lois Hole could have been here to see it. I think she would have liked that.

Throne Speech and Bill 1

Words can not describe how big a day it was today, so (since I am tired) I will let the pictures tell the story tonight.

4.5 BILLION DOLLARS!!!! 


Duncan and the man who made him so happy 


I'm so proud of him (and he's looking a tad pleased with himself as well!) 

It's the new style...

Style by Rain 

"Let me clear my throat - Kick it over here baby pop
And let all the fly skimmies, feel the beat...drop"
- Beastie Boys "The New Style"

The wisdom of the ages

My life is an adventure and through all the terrific (and terrible) moments during all the years of my life, I’m proud of the person I am – and excited about whom I am becoming. I am a work in progress, evolving, ever thinking, chasing my dreams, and in many ways I hope to always be that way.

I perceive myself both growing up and being a grown up, but time is seductively illusive, and everything still seems like yesterday, or even just the day before, and I still have all the time in the world ahead of me. With a suitable inventory of experience behind me I recognize that my reality is altered significantly, sometimes even without my noticing, by the influence of each event upon my life. Memories of gentle touches and happy times are as important to who I am as my battle scars and bruises, and I welcome their impact on my love affair with life. Allow me to introduce you to the Milestones that have shaped and changed me:

My brother’s birth
My Grandfather’s death
Learning to read
Skipping a grade
Getting my period
My first date
High School
Volunteering
Getting my Drivers license
Losing my virginity
Joining the army (first full time job)
Learning to kill
Graduation
Moving out on my own
Marriage
Childbirth
Motherhood
Moving (to a new province)
University
Being published for the first time
Discovering my sexual self
Divorce, after ten years
Single Motherhood
Turning 30
Moving (to another major city)
Death of my father
Second Marriage
Death of my brother
Turning 33

OK, maybe that last ones a bit of a stretch, I don’t actually feel any different turning 33. Duncan says it is a milestone, a third of 99, and he’s right, of course, each year deserves a celebration. I approach my thirty third year with eager anticipation, excitement and none of the anxiety I had when I turned 30. My journey is full of delightful escapades and I can’t wait! And for the first time in my life I feel as if I am a grown up – finally, honestly – with a calm confidence that comes from knowing conclusively what is actually essential in life. I will start my 33rd year with the ability to face everything with a sense of wonder true to the nature of courage, an understanding of reality that comes from the veracity of evils, unabashed pride in my family and our accomplishments - and my amazing partner who fills my days (heart/soul/mind) with love, he is truly a treasure that makes life worth living.

Good Bye Mr Zundel

Today, Canada is a better place.

Million Dollar Speech

"And thank you of course to Miss Hepburn. The longevity of her career I think is inspiring to everyone. But most important importantly and on behalf of everyone I know in The Aviator, thank you to Martin Scorsese. I hope my son will marry your daughter. Thank you."
- Cate Blanchett, after accepting her Oscar for best supporting actress.

I liked Million Dollar Baby, but I also liked the Aviator. And I love Martin Scorsese, I think he is brilliant, and I think the academy should stop passing him over in the Oscars. Thats my two cents worth.

Awakening my Senses

I have found my new favourite place. I finally have a hair dresser of my very own again - only took two winters in this place but Edmonton is starting to be like home.

Last moments as life draws to a close

John and Jackie Knill were on vacation together in Thailand when the Tsunami struck. Sadly they were both killed by the tsunami wave.

We will never know what was going through their minds in those last few seconds of life, but they chose to take pictures of the approaching wave and leave us something of the end to their story.

As humans we often muse about our own ending, about how it might unfold, what we might think at that moment, how we will face it, or perhaps, if it will mean anything... John and Jackie Knill have left a unique illustration of their final moments and circumstances for us to see.

It's a moment that will come to us all, in one way or another. In the end there is a certain peace to that reality.

"Cup belongs to Canada"

Governor General Adrienne Clarkson is my new Hero. She says the "Cup belongs to Canada" and that she's already petitioned Paul Martin and his cabinet about the possibility of a challenge cup outside the auspices of the NHL, saying that she feels it's her duty to fulfill the wishes of her predecessor Lord Stanley of Preston (to have the cup awarded in a challenge annually).

Clarkson further suggests the Cup be contested in a challenge between the world's best women's hockey teams – the Canadian and U.S. national squads. I guess who issues the challenge matters a little less to me, I just want to see the Stanley Cup played for and hoisted this year.

Markus Naslund is a Jerk.

And that's Jerk with a capital "J".

The apparent master of all cheap shots, Canuck Captain Markus Naslund (aka elitist bully) took the Bertuzzi/Moore escapades to a personal and dirty level yesterday when he decided to attack Ex-Avalanche Steve Moore's character (and credentials) over his recently filed lawsuit, stopping just short of calling him a crybaby.

"He's suing everyone so he can make money. I've got no respect for him at all, this is just a guy who's trying to hit a home run (financially). Someone who wasn't good enough to play. I'm not saying what (Bertuzzi did) was right. But if it was me, I'd be doing everything I could to get back and play and show everyone the character I have."
- Markus Naslund

Hold on a minute here - if it wasn't for Naslund cowering behind his own team members, rabidly enciting an out of control mob like revenge attack (for a hit the NHL deemed legal) then Bertuzzi never would have delivered the hit that ended Moores career "a la broken neck."

Never mind that Moore might be lucky to ever skate again, let alone play hockey, that Bertuzzi plead guilty to intentional assualt on Moore in a criminal court, or that Naslund himself is well and playing hockey in a swedish league.

Sadly, there does seem to be some compelling evidence that several people conspired to the eventual attack that stole Moore's livelihood (and perhaps the only life he ever wanted) away from him.

Bertuzzi, Canucks forward Brad May, former Canucks general manager Brian Burke, Canucks coach Marc Crawford, the Canucks and the Orca Bay partnership that owns the NHL team are all named as defendants in the lawsuit.

How is it though, one wonders, that the Captain who started it all managed to escape from the defendants list? And how is it fair that he remains to snipe cowardly from his percieved moral high ground while the team mates, that he tasked with defending his honour, suffer alone?

It's the game at the heart of what it means to be Canadian

World's Longest Hockey Game  

On an NHL sized homemade ice rink in the town of Strathcona, just east of Edmonton, Alberta, a game is being played. It's a game that was meant to be played with heart, with joy, and with a passion that exceeds all other games.

It's called hockey. And 40 guys have been playing in shifts non stop since Feb 11th, regardless of the weather, temperature or aching body parts.

They play for many reasons... they played to shatter the Guinness Book of Records for the longest ever match by playing 203 consecutive hours of hockey. Having reached that goal at 11:13 PM, they continue to play to raise money for cancer research. For inspiration the players have encased photos of loved ones lost to cancer underneath their ice.

But something else stirs them, deep down. They're playing hockey, pure and simple. The way the game was meant to be played.

"[It's] Canadiana at its finest" said Dr. Brent Saik, organizer and player.

When the final buzzer sounds at noon on Monday (Family Day here in Alberta) the players will have skated 240 hours and raised more than 80,000.00 for pediatric cancer patients and research.

The NHL and the NHLPA could learn a little about real hockey from these guys.

Long Weekend Poker Fun

"The most common mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; it happens at the poker table all the time."
~David Shoup


full house  

If my camera was working I would post a picture of us playing with these cool new see/through invisible cards I found today. But it doesn't, so instead I will tell you a story from our first hand.

Raven is easily distracted at times can will sometimes take her time laying down her cards. This is somewhat understandable seeing that she is just learning to play and she likes to be careful as well. Duncan is waiting with undetectable impatience for her to show her cards and I sense that he is pretty sure he has the winning hand. He encourages her to show us by saying "what do you have in your hand Raven?

She looks at them again with moderate indifference (gently fuelling Duncan's optimism) and as she lays them down she says

"I only have three of a kind and a pair..."

Amidst my laughter Duncan throws in his cards, muttering something indistinguishable. I have to laugh, I can't help myself.

Today is...

My Blogiversary! Summer's Daydreams is two years old!

I guess I should change my template soon...

Sending the NHL to the box: The Day After...

Empty...  

The NHL season may be dead but it really didn't just happen yesterday or even 155 days ago. It died slowly, somewhere among overexpansion and teams folding, economic bickering and jacked up prices, lower scoring, slower gameplay, rule changes and too much neutral zone traffic, too many defense oriented coaches and of course, fading fan interest in a deteriorating industry.

It might be too harsh to say the NHL sucks, but it certainly isn't working anymore (literally). They anticipate that the NHL is so screwed up that it might not even play next season either. How much are we to be deprived of before we demand something better? The NHL needs major changes and restructuring in order to heal itself as a league. It needs a new Commissioner (lets get Wayne Gretzky and send "Take-it-or-leave-it-Bettman" packing) and it needs to recapture the hearts and minds (and faith) of countless fans. But what if it doesn't?

We really need to make hockey well and good again.

Until then, let us not waste this opportunity. Let us not disrespect the Stanley Cup by letting it collect dust this year, forgotten somewhere like a distant dream or a lost hope. Let us not have 2005 remembered as the year that the Stanley Cup was left behind. Let us see hockey, and a challenge and the cup awarded!

There is something we can do about it. Write letters to the Trustees of the Stanley Cup (Ian "Scotty" Morrison and Brian O'Neill) and demand they allow a challenge for the Cup. You can email the Trustees or send them a letter to:

Stanley Cup Trustees
Hockey Hall of Fame
BCE Place
30 Yonge Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canada M5E 1X8

See FREE STANLEY for more information

It's Driving me CRAZY!

What the HELL is wrong with Hotmail? I can't send anything, it has page errors so, it has run errors, it loses messages and it isn't sending them, it keeps making me prove I am not a webot by forcing me to type silly annoying text in a confirmation box. I mean, I know it is free, but what the hell is going on with it? Time to move up my plan for my own webmail account...

Happy 40th National Flag Day

We love our flag!  

Did you know?

That the flag at the top of the Peace Tower is 457.2 cm long and 228.6 cm wide?

That Canadian flags are always twice as long as they are wide?

That the maple leaf represents the contributions of Canada's Aboriginal Peoples to our current traditions?

That the specific design of the maple leaf was developed so that, as the flag waved in the wind, it would look like a real leaf?

Our Valentines Play, Act Five

Happy Valentines Day!  

This has been a "Valentines Day Weekend" for us, our kids are away and we both took Monday off to be together. With 5 V-Days under our belts now we have artfully concocted a Valentines Day tradition that keeps the occasion from being too tedious, too commercially inflated and too one sided; we take turns each year making the holiday about each other. This year it was my turn to make it all about Duncan and I couldn't wait to give him his gift so I gave it to him this morning. I so love giving Duncan gifts (it is my weakness) and it is hard to contain myself at times!

I hope everyone is having as wonderful and romantic a Valentine's Day as we are!

His last words were "I love you"

Darrin Morley Browatzke, age 30, was killed in northern Alberta when the SUV he was travelling in crashed head on into a semi trailer truck.

"I'm coming home Mommy. I love you."

Those were the last words he said to his Mom (Ivy Browatzke) before he left.

I can't count how many times I have wished I could have brought myself to say "I love you" to my brother instead of arguing with him the last time we spoke. It's not that I didn't mean it, I just wasn't thinking that would be the last time I ever talked to him.

Since then I have wrestled with myself to only leave my loved ones and friends with happy words and feelings, because you never know what is going to happen. And Darrin's story tends not to be the most common one, mine does.

One Big Party for Alberta!

Minister Gary Mar, who is charged with planning our centennial celebrations, proposes making September 1 2005 (Alberta's 100th birthday) a one time statutory holiday.

That means a five day long weekend for Alberta. Bring it on!

Tempting Fate! Limited Availabilty! Book Now!

Perhaps it is just that my imagination is biased by years of disaster films but reading an advertisment for an Alaskan Cruise today brought me pause at the grandiose description of the ship:

"... among her spectacular features are the 10 storey glass Centrum, glass elevators facing the sea, and the highest percentage of outside cabins in the Royal Caribbean fleet."

Ummmmmm....

Hello, I'm a big ass wave 

Maybe it's just me (and my overdeveloped sense of humour) but I want more than mere glass between me and the forces of nature, especially when it comes to copious amounts of fluid that I can't breathe in...

Maybe it's just that familiar human arrogance (you know the kind, it prompted Bruce Ismay to declare of the Titanic that "even god himself could not sink this ship")...

Maybe it is the all too recent memories of Tsunami devastation...

Or (more likely) it is the maniacal laughter of an overactive imagination situated in the far reaches of my mind that I can't seem to quiet when picturing this ship as described...

What ever it is, it just seems intrinsically wrong to me. Ten storey's of glass, glass elevators facing the sea, and the most outside cabins of any other fleet. Whose idea was that?

Happy 100th Birthday to Alberta's Students

"My message tonight to Alberta's universities, colleges and technical institutions is this: If you must increase tuitions, don't send the bill to your students. Send it to us."
- Premier Ralph Klein

I love that sound bite. It's perfect. And it makes me feel good inside.

Much celebrating was done tonight, after the media was appreased and Duncan stopped working. Beginning with beer at the Sugarbowl and ending with Earl sized Bellini's filling my bloodstream with cozy happiness.

RESTORE THE CHALLENGE

With the NHL Season now officially gone (RIP) it is time to start the process to get a challenge for The Cup underway.

It is Free Stanley's Firm belief that the Trustees of the cup are duty-bound to award the cup each year to the best team in the Dominion of Canada. We think that that could be you. To be counted in, you simply have to contact the Stanley Cup trustees and issue a challenge for the Cup.

Download a draft challenge letter.

Never doubt the extent of my vocabulary

Me (observing our bus driver aggressively "merging" into traffic): I'm not sure the correct term for this is "merging." It's more like we are "melding."

Duncan: Melding? That's not a word. You're making words up again.

Me: Melding is a word. You know (hand motions for emphasis indicating two things coming together), "melding."

Duncan: (mocking me) I'll bet you 10.00 that it's not a word.

Me: (perplexed) O.K.

Duncan: (more mocking)Is dictionary.com ok for our results?

Only a month to go

until my birthday...

Happy Groundhog Day Alberta!

I specify Alberta because dualling groundhogs across North America seem to be at odds with their contradictory predictions of when spring will make it here.

Balzac Billy makes it a Happy Groundhog Day for the people of Alberta by being so kind as to NOT see his shadow, and therefore predicting an early spring.

Thank-you Balzac Billy.

For the interested, the begginings of today's traditional Groundhog Day apparently began in 1887 in Punxsutawney, Pa, where early settler's believed that if the sun shone on February 2 then winter (and their misery) would continue another 6 weeks. This belief is based on the mythology surrounding the Catholic feast of Candlemas (Purification of the Blessed Virgin, Feast of the Presentation of Christ in the Temple).

"If Candlemas day be sunny and bright,
Winter again will show its might.
If Candlemas day be cloudy and grey,
Winter soon will pass away."

The Month of Love

Is it February Already? Where on earth did January go? I guess time flies when you are having fun!